It sometimes happens that after I have pulled some incidents out of my mind and got them down on paper, more memories emerge from the depths and rise to the surface.
I have just remembered another occasion when I had a big attack of positive paranoia, a feeling that the universe was arranging things for my personal benefit.
It all started when I unearthed and re-read an Edwardian guide to a small seaside town where I had spent some time as a child. Memories of these days by the sea were deeply buried; I had not talked or even thought about them since my family left the town many years earlier. The book made me decide to go back there for the first time and try to find the house where we had lived and the school, the children’s playground and other places that I vaguely remembered. I decided to wait until summer to make my pilgrimage to the past.
I slowly adjusted to the idea during the following months, then one week decided that the coming Saturday would definitely be the big day. Unfortunately, when the time came the weather was very bad: the rain was pouring down.
I postponed until the following Saturday, then did not wake up until mid-day.
I decided to try again on the Saturday after that, but had a lot of online work to do and at the last minute I decided it would be best to finish that.
I woke up with a bad cold on the next Saturday. It seemed that either I did not really want to go back or the universe was sabotaging my attempts to lay the ghosts of the past.
The weather on the fifth Saturday was beautiful and I woke up early. This was it.
When I got to the station, I found plastic goody bags were being handed out. The first gift I pulled out was a voucher entitling me to go anywhere on the rail network that day for only £2. I used it to go to my town, then when the memories became a bit overwhelming to go on to a nearby town where there were many more attractions. I also got a pen, some bus maps that I had been thinking I should get, and a voucher for a big discount on a railcard that would entitle me to big discounts on most rail tickets in the future.
I had no idea that all this would happen: it was entirely by chance that I was finally ready to travel on what turned out to be by far the best day of the year for my journey.
The sea was beautiful and the air was fresh; I couldn’t wait to make more trips using my new railcard.
The universe arranged for me to have a series of very good days out: I got a lot of mileage out of that railcard and there were also a couple more days that year when I could go anywhere for a token payment.
Perhaps it was all a reward for taking a step in the right direction by revisiting that town.
I have just remembered another occasion when I had a big attack of positive paranoia, a feeling that the universe was arranging things for my personal benefit.
It all started when I unearthed and re-read an Edwardian guide to a small seaside town where I had spent some time as a child. Memories of these days by the sea were deeply buried; I had not talked or even thought about them since my family left the town many years earlier. The book made me decide to go back there for the first time and try to find the house where we had lived and the school, the children’s playground and other places that I vaguely remembered. I decided to wait until summer to make my pilgrimage to the past.
I slowly adjusted to the idea during the following months, then one week decided that the coming Saturday would definitely be the big day. Unfortunately, when the time came the weather was very bad: the rain was pouring down.
I postponed until the following Saturday, then did not wake up until mid-day.
I decided to try again on the Saturday after that, but had a lot of online work to do and at the last minute I decided it would be best to finish that.
I woke up with a bad cold on the next Saturday. It seemed that either I did not really want to go back or the universe was sabotaging my attempts to lay the ghosts of the past.
The weather on the fifth Saturday was beautiful and I woke up early. This was it.
When I got to the station, I found plastic goody bags were being handed out. The first gift I pulled out was a voucher entitling me to go anywhere on the rail network that day for only £2. I used it to go to my town, then when the memories became a bit overwhelming to go on to a nearby town where there were many more attractions. I also got a pen, some bus maps that I had been thinking I should get, and a voucher for a big discount on a railcard that would entitle me to big discounts on most rail tickets in the future.
I had no idea that all this would happen: it was entirely by chance that I was finally ready to travel on what turned out to be by far the best day of the year for my journey.
The sea was beautiful and the air was fresh; I couldn’t wait to make more trips using my new railcard.
The universe arranged for me to have a series of very good days out: I got a lot of mileage out of that railcard and there were also a couple more days that year when I could go anywhere for a token payment.
Perhaps it was all a reward for taking a step in the right direction by revisiting that town.
