A last look at cult expert Steve Hassan's Freedom of Mind

After producing a series of articles in which I highlight and comment on material of special interest from Steven Hassan's best-selling guidebooks Combating Cult Mind Control and Freedom of Mind, I thought that I had reached the end of the exercise. However, Freedom of Mind has inspired just one more post.

Steve Hassan's detailed advice about how families and friends can help cult members and cult leavers via his Strategic Interactive Approach (SIA) is very useful indeed. It is best to go straight to the source for his wise words on building teams, planning interventions, role playing, winning the trust of the cult member, asking key questions and other associated exercises and procedures; here I just want to feature a few miscellaneous extracts of particular interest, some of which have a wider application.

Indirectly asking for help
Steve Hassan describes a technique used by clever cult members to drop subtle hints to their families:

“I have had several families contact me after their cult son or daughter told them not to get a professional counselor to get them out. Before the cult member made that remark, the families had not realized that they could contact someone like me for help.”

This approach could be used in other situations - and I don't mean just by people who say, “It's my birthday tomorrow, but please don't tell anyone and don't get me anything!”

Echoes of Dion Fortune
A recent article contains this quotation from a Dion Fortune occult novel:

“You don’t know what you do want, but you do know what you don’t want.

Steve Hassan says something similar:

“It is useful, for instance, to be able to recognize and articulate the difference between what you do not want (a mediocre job) and knowing what you do want (a fulfilling career).”

It is indeed very useful to bring goals, preferences and requirements out into the open and nail them down. 

Steve Hassan calls this exercise 'assertive motivation'. It can help to remove blocks, increase understanding and get someone going in the right direction.

Three writers' words on two kinds of pain

Extracts from L. M. (Lucy Maud) Montgomery's Green Gables letters have appeared in several articles in the past. 

Ephraim Weber, the recipient of these letters, was someone to whom she could express her true thoughts and feelings about many mundane, metaphysical and philosophical topics and experiences. She was very lucky to have this kindred spirit in her life.

She covered a lot of ground: she wrote about envy, writing, religion, the flowers in her garden, books, housework and many other things. Her letters also contain some amusing anecdotes. 

The inspiration for this article comes from some thought-provoking words that she wrote about two kinds of pain. 

As with the extracts in the previous article, this one was chosen because it reminded me of something that I had read in the works of other writers.

Two kinds of pain
L. M. Montgomery said this in a letter dated May 8th 1905:

“...I agree with you in regard to one kind of pain. There are two kinds, don’t you think! The pain God sends to us and the pain we bring on ourselves; the former is the fire of heaven, the latter the flame of hell. 

God’s pain is indeed one of his ministering spirits. Great mysteries of soul-birth and soul growth are bound up in it and if we have the courage and the endurance to make a friend of it it will bring great gifts to us. But the pain we bring on ourselves through folly or wilfulness or even simple blindness! Ah, it is horrible; it is degrading; there is no fine, high ministry in it; it burns and scars and defaces for our punishment.”

This is strong stuff; it is all very biblical. It contrasts the purifying flames of Purgatory with the everlasting fires of Hell. 

This is not the place to go into the events in L. M. Montgomery's life that caused her to develop these ideas about pain – and at this point the worst was still to come. For now, I just want to give examples of two other people's words on two very different kinds of pain.

Three cult-related exercises with a wider application

Steven Hassan's books Combating Cult Mind Control and Freedom of Mind contain much good advice about supporting and rehabilitating people who have escaped from destructive cults. People who want to help cult leavers and cult leavers who want to help themselves will find these books very useful.

I have mentioned some of Steve Hassan's suggestions in previous articles inspired by his books. Some of the techniques and practices that he promotes have a wider application: for example, people who have escaped from dysfunctional families - some of which can be very cultlike - and are trying to process the past and rehabilitate themselves may also find them worth trying. 

This article features and expands on three pieces of advice that are best followed in sequence: tell the story, rework the story and salvage as much as possible from the time spent in captivity. 

1) Telling the story
Steve Hassan says that cult leavers are stronger for being able to share their personal stories. He also says that the written word is a powerful medium of communication, and that writing the entire story down helps the writer to process and gain a better perspective on the experiences.

This is all very true, but the story-telling exercise may be very time consuming and it may be difficult to know where to start. 

This applies even more to people who are trying to come to terms with and move on from many years of neglect and ill-treatment at the hands of their families. People who are both cult leavers and members of dysfunctional families will have a lot of material to process.

A spreadsheet for topics and timelines provides a good structure and framework for the narrative, and using it to record key elements in someone's life may save time in the long run.

There are so many variables and different stories to tell that it is impossible to design a 'one size fits all' template. 

A good way to get the ball rolling is to set up column headings and sub-headings for basic, useful and important information. It is advisable to start with key items such as people, addresses, dates and milestones. Lists of elements such as food and clothes, schools and jobs, toys and pets, books and music, entertainment, outings and travel will help to fill out the picture of the past. Other categories could include accidents, illnesses and painful incidents such as a family breakup. Political events and news items that made a big impression may also be worth recording.

It is best to concentrate on one aspect at a time and follow it through in sequence over the years of dependency and captivity.

“Intelligent people don't join cults”

Steven Hassan's informative and thought-provoking book Combating Cult Mind Control, his best-selling 'Guide to Protection, Rescue, and Recovery from Destructive Cults', has inspired a series of posts. The final article,  A few points about helping cult leavers, mentions his books Releasing the Bonds and Freedom of Mind as additional resources for people seeking information about cults and how to get members out of them. 

These books, which were published after Combating Cult Mind Control, appeared from their online descriptions to be more of the same, with much repetition of key points, advice and useful information and more case histories; I assumed that I wouldn't find anything that I would want to comment on in them. 

I have since read through Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults, and Beliefs, which is a revised and updated version of Releasing the Bonds, and I came across a small amount of material that I want to highlight.

This article features more of Steve Hassan's wise words on the subject of people who join cults. 

A misconception about intelligence
Freedom of Mind lists some common cult-related misconceptions and errant beliefs held by many people, including the idea that intelligent people do not join cults. 

While this conviction may have come from personal experience - it may be the result of having encountered people from the lower levels of certain religious cults for example – it definitely does not apply in all cases. As Steve Hassan tells us, intelligent people do join cults:

“Many people have a hard time believing that bright, talented people— often educated, and from good homes-—could fall under the control of a cult. They fail to realize that cults intentionally recruit smart people who will work tirelessly for the cause. Many of the former cult members I have met are exceptionally bright and well educated. They have active imaginations and creative minds. They have a capacity to focus their attention and concentrate. Most are idealistic and socially conscious. They want to make a positive contribution to the world.”

All this makes sense. Such people may also be recruited because they are a good advertisement for the cause and may attract others of their kind into the cult.

A few points about helping cult leavers

This is the fourth and final article inspired by exit-counsellor Steven Hassan's thought-provoking book Combating Cult Mind Control, his illuminating 'Guide to Protection, Rescue, and Recovery from Destructive Cults'. 

The first article covers some of the interesting things that Steve Hassan has to say about how cults recruit people. 

The second article contains disturbing information about life inside cults.

The third article features a few of the useful points that he makes in connection with getting people out of cults.

I now want to highlight a few of his ideas about helping people who have left a cult. I have already produced an article about life after leaving a cult, but Steve Hassan's book has inspired some more commentary. 

Would-be helpers need to understand what they are up against and dealing with; Steve Hassan has some distressing and depressing information about this. 

Helpers also need to learn what to do about it; the book has some useful and encouraging suggestions about what works best when helping cult leavers rediscover and live from their real selves, recover from the abuse they have endured and make new, productive lives for themselves.

The worst comes first
Steve Hassan has a lot to say about the many and severe problems faced by cult leavers, the biggest of which is loss of identity. They may also be suffering from arrested development, they may behave in an inappropriately dependent way, their self-esteem may have been destroyed, their critical faculties may be atrophied, they may have memory loss and find it difficult to concentrate, they may have trouble making decisions and they may have serious adjustment problems.

They may also be living in fear of some kind of retaliation by the cult.

A few points about getting people out of cults

This is the third article inspired by exit-counsellor Steven  Hassan's book Combating Cult Mind Control, his 'Guide to Protection, Rescue, and Recovery from Destructive Cults'. 

After covering some of the interesting things that Steve Hassan has to say about how cults recruit people and his disturbing information about life inside cults, I now want to highlight a few of the useful points that he makes in connection with getting people out of cults.

I have already produced an article about the difficulties of leaving a cult, but Steve Hassan's book has inspired some more commentary.

Three ways to get out of a cult
Steve Hassan comes straight to the point here:

“People leave a group in three basic ways: they walk out, they get kicked out (often in a very “burned-out" condition, both psychologically and physically), or they get counseled out.”

This summary is spot on. In addition, perhaps some people who are temporarily out from under the influence and away from other members may just decide not to go back. This is similar to but not quite the same as walking out; it could be that they mentally defected a while back and just waited for the right opportunity to cut the connection! 

Incidentally, Steve Hassan says that 'walk-aways' are often members who have been able to maintain contact with people outside the destructive cult; he also says that walk-aways make up the majority of cult leavers.

Counselling out: newcomers versus old-timers
When it comes to counselling people out, it may at first seem likely that the easiest candidates are those who have been members for only a short time and the most difficult those who have committed many years of their lives to the cause. 

Steve Hassan supports this idea:

“If I am contacted within the first few months of a recruitment, the prognosis for a successful exit within a year is extremely good. On the other hand, if the person has been in the group for ten years when I am contacted, it might be quite some time before an intervention can be successfully attempted...” 

Cults: an overview of the main articles to date

As my articles about cults are attracting a respectable number of readers, I thought that, while this blog does have Labels and a Search facility, a summary of the main cult-related articles to date together with some links might be useful.

I intend to keep this article updated with links to any new cult articles of significance.

I noticed retrospectively that many of the articles can be grouped according to their main cult-related theme; this is how they are referenced here.

Attributes of cult members

Most important are the basic informational articles. These give general warnings about what to expect when dealing with cult members. For example:

They will lie to you and may leave you stranded.

Their ‘friendship’ will be conditional and could end at any time.

They will sooner or later behave as if you are theirs to command.

They will expect more and more from people and give less and less in return. 

Their values may be inverted.

Independent and analytical thinking is discouraged, so discussions with cult members can be frustrating as they just mindlessly repeat robotic slogans and the official party line. Their access to reading material may be restricted, so discussions may also be difficult and unrewarding because of their ignorance. 

The cutting of connections by cult members is a topic that has generated a four-part article. 

In addition to all that, be prepared to deal with the sole supplier syndrome, the unpleasant and unjustified superiority syndrome and, worst of all, the dreaded attack-dog syndrome!

Never forget that, as Alexander Herzen said, they will commit all kinds of crimes in the name of their cause.

And never forget either that they are all in on it!