Sunday, January 3, 2010

Be very careful what you wish for: psychological black magic that backfired.

Black magic has been described as an ‘illegitimate short cut’. I really like this definition. It covers trying to get what you haven’t legitimately earned.

From what I have seen, some people do appear to use a kind of psychological black magic or mind power as an unseen influence to get or try to get what they want, as opposed to using natural methods such as obtaining qualifications and learning the skills that would help them to get suitable well-paid jobs; working to earn the money to pay for the things that they want; attracting decent human beings into their lives by being one themselves so that people like to do them favours, introduce them to others and invite them to events; asserting themselves and negotiating with people and practising give and take in their relationships.

I have also seen that even where these people do get what they asked for, it usually goes horribly wrong, backfires, turns sour or is a fifth rate travesty of what they really wanted. The backlash can make people very depressed and unstable. This is all unconscious: they never usually make the connection between what they were obsessively wishing for and what manifested in their lives. They never usually realise that they have sold their soul and sanity and got a very bad deal.

Some examples from my own experience follow.

Trapped in a horrible house
When I was around 10 years old, I went to stay with my paternal grandfather, his second wife and their son for a few days. I now think that they invited me out of feelings of duty as opposed to family feeling, and my father and stepmother were using me to infiltrate his family in the hope of getting some money from them. There had not been much previous contact between the two families.

When I was back home, I told my stepmother about my grandfather’s dirk (dagger) and kilt: he was of Scottish origin. I thought that it was all very romantic. She did not say a single word. A few years later, we had moved to London and were living in a horrible house. My stepmother hated it more than anyone. She blamed my father for making a very bad choice. She left the family after a few months and I never saw her again.

It was not until much later that I had a light-bulb moment and saw a connection between my grandfather’s middle name and the name of the street where we were trapped in the horrible house.

I don’t want to give his real name: I will just say that his middle name began with ‘Mc’ and that the street was named after a famous artist with the same middle name. This means nothing in itself, but it is very significant to me when unseen influences are considered. I think that she reacted very strongly deep down inside to the information, and wished that she could get into the exciting, glamorous, romantic Scottish world (I don’t think that she ever met my grandfather). She blamed my father for finding a bad place for us to stay, but perhaps he was just obeying her unconscious commands: she wanted ‘Mc****’ and ‘Mc****’ was exactly what she got!

Getting into an eminent family
Some years later, I met at work someone whose sister had married into an eminent, affluent family with an unusual name. This colleague often described her sister’s important connections and big country house with stables full of hunters and polo ponies. I passed on some of this information to my youngest sister – the one whose wonderful new job with the arts company went horribly wrong – and she did not say a single word. A few years later, she got a job as research and secretarial assistant to someone from a close branch of the same family. This job came up 'by chance': it was not advertised in the normal way. This wonderful new job soon turned sour too. It may be that the price for supplying these great opportunities is the loss of the ability to cope with them, assuming that this ever existed.

Be very careful what you wish for
I think that both my stepmother and my sister were covertly envious people who played the ‘me too’ game. They thought that if they could only meet the right person or get into the right job or circles, everything would come right as if by magic. They never thought about the personal attributes that might be required to earn and achieve what they wanted: they tried to do it all with mind power.

I will never know now how my father and stepmother first met, but I have been wondering whether she had been wishing continually that she could meet a tall dark man from a ‘good family’, which is a superficial description of my father. She was just the sort of person who would do this, and unprotected people can get sucked in and trapped. Unfortunately, someone who has no defences against these techniques is unlikely to be a very good partner.

It all ended terribly: neither had the qualities needed to attract and create a good relationship with a decent human being. Of course my step-mother blamed my father for ruining her dreams and not being what she wanted him to be. He felt exactly the same about her. If this isn’t a lesson in being careful what you wish for, I don’t know what is.

Anyone who is always desperately wishing and wishing for things and whose jobs and relationships continually go wrong, and who thinks that what they have is a travesty of what they want, might find this possible explanation of their problems useful. Do bear in mind that many people have said that by wanting something too intensely, you activate forces that stop you getting it. It is not good – it is very unwise - to try to force the universe to give you something that you feel entitled to. If you can take it or leave it, you are more likely to get it. This has always seemed very unfair to me!

An amusing anecdote
The power to manifest something is not always abused, and getting something that is much less than what you wanted is not always disappointing.

I remember discussing ‘adult scooters’ with a neighbour some years ago at a time when they were quite fashionable: she was seriously considering getting one. I said that if I saw one at a giveaway price, and it had a lot of green glass on it (I like green glass very much) then I might get it. A few days later, I went with a group of colleagues to inspect a possible new office. We went in a taxi; I said that it would cost the company less if we went back by bus: this would be easy as there were several door to door services. They agreed.

When we were on the bus, a man got on and started handing things out from a big shoulder bag: they were free as it was some kind of advertisement. The promotional items were key-rings in the form of tiny scooters with a lot of transparent green plastic. I got one; I still have it. I made the connection at the time: I wanted a ‘giveaway’ scooter with 'green glass' in a joking, take it or leave it kind of way, and 'by coincidence' I got one ‘on a plate’ as a result of considering the interests of the (not-for-profit) company. I was not at all disappointed: I was amused and delighted.