Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Energy vampires: my thoughts and memories Part III

This is the third part of some personal memories of and ideas about energy vampires. It may all seem rather far-fetched, but as they say "You couldn't make it up"! My hope is that it will help people who have had similar experiences to understand what causes them, which is the first stage in learning how to reduce the frequency and severity of the incidents.

The residents’ association meeting and what came of it
I remember having a conversation with a colleague at work at a time when I had just discovered the world of New Age books and wanted to pass on some of the information and anecdotes. He was very interested in my stories about synchronicity and coincidences, and when I had to go and do something else it was obvious that he wanted to continue the conversation. It was a good day for me at work in many ways.

That same evening, I went to a Residents’ Association meeting in my block of flats.  Everything went wrong from then on. I came away feeling as though the life had been sucked out of me and that I was being slowly crushed to death by a heavy black cloud. This was only the second time I had attended these meetings. I should have listened to my intuition and not gone, but there were some local developments that I needed to learn more about. It is not always possible to avoid the company of energy vampires.

Some of these neighbours were people whom I would normally avoid; one in particular was one of the worst energy vampires I have ever encountered. I suspected her of targetting me mentally in the hope of getting various things from me. She seemed very disturbed, unable to build relationships and negotiate in the normal way.
The next day, I felt totally depressed and debilitated – more dead than alive. I wanted to lie down and die. I approached my colleague in the hope of continuing our conversation. He recoiled at the sight of me and said that he was very busy. He treated me like an unpleasant, unwelcome intruder and brushed me off. This was not funny: he was the one who decided whether or not my contract with the company would be renewed.

Even less funny was what happened on the way home. It was dark; I was on a zebra crossing outside a big railway station, walking over the main road in company with a large number of people who were all going in the same direction. A man crossing in the opposite direction ran right into me, knocked me over and rushed off. I remember lying on the ground and seeing all the cars lined up side by side; luckily I was able to get up quickly and finish crossing the road without any more trouble.

When I was coming home on a bus the following day, a trouble-making man got on; he wouldn’t pay his fare; he wouldn’t show a pass; he wouldn’t give a name and address. The conductor asked the driver to stop, made everyone get off the bus and said it wasn’t moving until the man got off. I could sense a sullen triumphant satisfaction radiating from the man, who lived far below the level at which it would have been possible to get through to him. Of course this happened on a day when I needed to get home as soon as possible as I was feeling terrible.

I got stopped in the street that weekend by a young woman who said that she wanted to talk about religion. When I said that I wasn’t interested and walked on, she shouted after me: “Jesus Christ wasn’t born in Buckingham Palace you know”. I am still wondering what she meant by that.

Someone who was handing out promotional leaflets that I had no use for followed me for a while, continually shouting “I say! I say!” to attract my attention, which made me feel very conspicuous. As always, if I had not been too overwhelmed to be able to say that I did not like being pursued and called after, I would not have been in the position where I needed to.

It got worse and worse, with plenty more of the same. It was incredible how I managed to get into queues right behind troublemakers and time wasters while shopping, and I was overcharged and short changed again and again. Someone unpleasant would come and sit next to me when I was on a bus or train. They were often saturated with cigarette smoke, which makes me feel very ill, but I felt too overwhelmed and paralysed to move to another seat. It took me ages to get along: I felt that I was walking in slow motion.

It seemed to me that I had become invisible: people would converge on me and I would have to skip out of their way so that they didn’t walk right into me. People would suddenly throw up their arms and start play fights just as I walked past them, making me have to dodge them to avoid being hit. People in the streets seemed to stream past in crowds: I felt that I was standing to one side and watching them from another dimension.  I may have been invisible to ordinary people, but I was only too visible to those who seemed to live in a twilight zone. Psychotic old men leapt at me and shouted strange things.

Even though these incidents were very jarring to someone in my fragile state, they were nothing compared with the way I felt. The meeting took place shortly before Christmas, and the bad energy that I had picked up took weeks to disperse: the black cloud did not lift until the middle of January. The holiday season was ruined. I did not have the resources even for normal activities, so all the extra work was a terrible burden. I had to force myself to go through the motions without any strength or inclination, and with no trace of the holiday spirit. It is putting it mildly to say that my heart wasn’t in seasonal celebrations.

More about energy vampires and invisibility
One odd effect that energy vampires can have is that of making someone or something appear invisible. I remember a time when I decided to investigate a new superstore, despite feeling drained and unreal at the time because I had been in contact with an energy vampire. I didn't know the area very well, and I asked the bus conductor where I should get off. He and some of the passengers started discussing my problem as if I didn't exist: "She should have got off at the last stop". I did get off the bus, and walked back to where the big store should have been.  I just couldn't find it. I decided to cut my losses and go home. I tried again when I was feeling better and there it was, exactly where I had been looking for it.

Not being able to see things that are right there is very disconcerting, not only where large buildings are involved but also small items. For example, after being waylaid by one of my neighbours whom I always tried to avoid, I just couldn’t find a bill that I had left out in a place where I would be sure to see it. I had to ask the milkman for another bill, then shortly afterwards I saw the first one – exactly where I had put it.

I was once introduced to someone who made me want to run away and hide. She was a friend of a friend of a colleague who had got into bad company. I did tell him tactfully that she was the sort of person I needed to avoid. I went out the next day with some young friends, and we all stopped to watch a street entertainer. I suddenly realised that I couldn’t see one of the children and really panicked. I was going frantic trying to find her – luckily her father was there too otherwise I would have felt even worse – and was afraid that someone had abducted her. The little girl suddenly re-appeared: she said that she had been in our sight the whole the time.

I have had some other near misses with cars in my life. This must apply to most people who live in busy towns, but invisibility was involved in each case, which usually indicates that an energy vampire was responsible. The first one happened when I was six years old. I started to cross an empty road, and vaguely wondered why people were calling to me to stay back. Then I saw the car that had almost hit me. Another time I was crossing a road and was brushed by a car that I just hadn't seen. The next time, I was actually hit when walking on a zebra crossing: the driver didn’t seem to see me.

More about being drained of life and energy
I wrote in a previous article about Arthur Miller blacking out while on the phone to Marilyn, and how the exact same thing had happened to me. A similar incident has come to mind. It happened when, rather against my better judgement, I went out for a meal with colleagues to celebrate the successful completion of a project. I found myself sitting directly opposite someone whom I had always tried to avoid as she had a very bad effect on me. I remember that I started to feel weak, everything went black and I could tell that I was losing consciousness. I was sitting with my back to the wall; I desperately pushed my way past my colleagues’ chairs and stood in the restaurant doorway to get some air. Someone came to ask what happened, and I said that I had been overcome by the heat.

Seeing someone who looks like someone you know
This has happened to me several times after I have been in the company of an energy vampire. I see someone coming towards me while out walking, and they look familiar. For some reason, this makes me feel so uneasy and reluctant to be recognised by them, even though I would normally be happy to talk to them, that I am relieved when I realise that it is not someone I know after all. They may resemble them, but often look like a cheap and unpleasant copy of the real thing – I can’t think of a better way to put this.

I know that it is possible to reach a stage and state where incidents such as these are very infrequent and have much less serious effects when they do occur, but this will not happen incidentally. Time very definitely does not solve all problems. Freedom must be earned.