A few points about getting people out of cults

This is the third article inspired by exit-counsellor Steven  Hassan's book Combating Cult Mind Control, his 'Guide to Protection, Rescue, and Recovery from Destructive Cults'. 

After covering some of the interesting things that Steve Hassan has to say about how cults recruit people and his disturbing information about life inside cults, I now want to highlight a few of the useful points that he makes in connection with getting people out of cults.

I have already produced an article about the difficulties of leaving a cult, but Steve Hassan's book has inspired some more commentary.

Three ways to get out of a cult
Steve Hassan comes straight to the point here:

“People leave a group in three basic ways: they walk out, they get kicked out (often in a very “burned-out" condition, both psychologically and physically), or they get counseled out.”

This summary is spot on. In addition, perhaps some people who are temporarily out from under the influence and away from other members may just decide not to go back. This is similar to but not quite the same as walking out; it could be that they mentally defected a while back and just waited for the right opportunity to cut the connection! 

Incidentally, Steve Hassan says that 'walk-aways' are often members who have been able to maintain contact with people outside the destructive cult; he also says that walk-aways make up the majority of cult leavers.

Counselling out: newcomers versus old-timers
When it comes to counselling people out, it may at first seem likely that the easiest candidates are those who have been members for only a short time and the most difficult those who have committed many years of their lives to the cause. 

Steve Hassan supports this idea:

“If I am contacted within the first few months of a recruitment, the prognosis for a successful exit within a year is extremely good. On the other hand, if the person has been in the group for ten years when I am contacted, it might be quite some time before an intervention can be successfully attempted...” 

However, although at first it might seem counter-intuitive, the opposite sometimes applies:

“But long-term members are by no means hopeless. They just require a lot of patience and continued effort. In fact, I have discovered that in many ways it is easier to counsel someone out of a long-term membership. Such a person knows the harsh realities of life in the group—the lies, the manipulations, the broken promises of cult leaders— whereas the new member may still be walking on air during the honeymoon stage.”

This makes sense. The cult may have used up its credit balance with some longer-term members, and people who have become disillusioned with and have had enough of cult life may well be good candidates for counselling out.

What works and what doesn't work
Steve Hassan goes into great detail about what to say and what not to say to cult members. He recommends taking a subtle, indirect, non-confrontational approach rather than attacking the cult, its leader and its ideology head on.

He also advises talking to the real person as opposed to the cult member:

“Successfully connecting with a person's core identity is what enables me to help someone walk away from a cult.”

He uses special techniques to plant seeds of doubt in the members' minds. An ingenious method of indirectly bypassing their defence mechanisms and getting information over to them is to talk about what goes on in other cults! 

“Ironically, members of cults look down on anyone involved in any other cult groups. They are very quick to acknowledge that "Those people are in a cult" or "They are the ones who are brainwashed." They are unable to step out of their own situations and look at themselves objectively.”

This says it all. The cognitive dissonance is similar to the way in which some people can detect faults in others but not the same fault in themselves. For example, they may see very clearly that the other person's behaviour is childish or selfish, but can't see that theirs is too! It is putting it mildly to say that they are not happy when someone points this out. Another example: some people who are very sensible and rational when it comes to discussing many ridiculous conspiracy theories may have a huge blind spot about their own pet theory and go insane with rage and refuse to listen when someone debunks it.

As cult members have compartments in their minds and don't know that they are trapped inside a cult, hearing about those other unfortunate misled victims and the sinister techniques that those other cults use doesn't make them feel threatened and doesn't trigger the attack dog.

The book is worth reading for this tip alone.

A small reservation
Steve Hassan has extensive experience of successfully counselling cult members and leavers; he writes as an expert in this field. Even so, there are one or two things in his book that make me feel slightly uncomfortable. 

Steve Hassan uses finesse rather than force when retained to get people out of cults. He neither practices nor approves of coercion, of interventions that involve kidnapping, confrontation and forcible deprogramming, but he does sometimes use mild deception. He uses the same devious method to get people out that cults use to entrap people: he lures cult members to meetings under false pretences. The end justifies the means in his view, and, after all, it is done for the long-term benefit of the cult member.

One example involved a cult member who was not expected to respond positively to an invitation to meet former members and listen to their reasons for defecting. He accepted an invitation to a family birthday party though, and this gave Steve Hassan the opportunity he needed to get the member into the company of a counsellor and a former member. This devious approach was the only thing that would have worked at the time, and the intervention was successful in the long run. 

The role of family and friends
Steve Hassan relies very much on the cult member's circle to assist him in the exit counselling:

“Family members and friends are vital in most successful cases. They can be trained to be maximally effective whenever they communicate with the cult member. In this way, emotional and personal leverage can be used to gain his cooperation.”

This is not good news for cult members who come from a dysfunctional family, members without much of a circle for whatever reason and members whose family and friends are all in the cult.

A new resource 
I have recently leaned that Steve Hassan has written another book that covers the topic of helping people to leave cults. I haven't read Freedom of Mind (2012) yet, but it seems worth investigating: