This is the fourth and final article inspired by exit-counsellor Steven Hassan's thought-provoking book Combating Cult Mind Control, his illuminating 'Guide to Protection, Rescue, and Recovery from Destructive Cults'.
The first article covers some of the interesting things that Steve Hassan has to say about how cults recruit people.
The second article contains disturbing information about life inside cults.
The third article features a few of the useful points that he makes in connection with getting people out of cults.
I now want to highlight a few of his ideas about helping people who have left a cult. I have already produced an article about life after leaving a cult, but Steve Hassan's book has inspired some more commentary.
Would-be helpers need to understand what they are up against and dealing with; Steve Hassan has some distressing and depressing information about this.
Helpers also need to learn what to do about it; the book has some useful and encouraging suggestions about what works best when helping cult leavers rediscover and live from their real selves, recover from the abuse they have endured and make new, productive lives for themselves.
Steve Hassan has a lot to say about the many and severe problems faced by cult leavers, the biggest of which is loss of identity. They may also be suffering from arrested development, they may behave in an inappropriately dependent way, their self-esteem may have been destroyed, their critical faculties may be atrophied, they may have memory loss and find it difficult to concentrate, they may have trouble making decisions and they may have serious adjustment problems.
They may also be living in fear of some kind of retaliation by the cult.
The cure may be worse than the disease. Having to endure life as a cult member may have been bad enough; the realisation of the differences between cult life and normal life and of the damage that has been done both to and possibly also by the former member may be devastating. Feelings of betrayal may be overwhelming. The great dream has turned into a nightmare; severe depression may set in.
Of particular interest is Steve Hassan's statement that cult leavers often have an acute sense of having to make up for lost time.
Cult leavers who have missed many years of normal life experience will indeed be far behind their peers in many areas; they will have a lot of catching up to do.
This is from an article that describes how some followers of the Maharishi Yogi gave more and more and got less and less in return:
“They had ‘lost a crucial period of life when they would otherwise have been obtaining university degrees, developing a career and establishing family and social relationships.’”
This applies to many former cult members. It is a very bad situation to be in.
A major problem here is that while huge efforts may need to be made in order to catch up, former members are likely to be suffering from depleted resources, impaired abilities and lack of spare capacity. In comparison with their peers, they may have - at least - twice the necessity but only half the ability to build a life for themselves. If they rest and recover and take things easy as they may well need to do, they will get even further behind.
Incidentally, much of this can be applied to people who have escaped from energy vampires and dysfunctional families.
Some parents and other individuals behave like cult leaders. Steve Hassan says:
“I have seen one-on-one mind control relationships that have been as destructive in their effects as those of big groups.”
Steve Hassan balances the negative material with some helpful and positive statements.
He assures us that mind control does not have to be permanent: it isn't easy but it is possible to recover from the brainwashing and the damage done, no matter how long it has gone on for.
He says that former members make the best exit counsellors: they have learned a lot that can help other victims. This makes sense.
Of particular interest is Steve Hassan's advice to former members to “remember the good and take it with you.”
Former members should appreciate any positive experiences that they might not otherwise have had – extensive travel is one example. They may have also developed useful qualities such as persistence and self discipline.
He suggests integrating any skills learned into the new life – foreign languages, salesmanship and public speaking for example. I really like the idea of salvaging the good things and capitalising on them; in a way it is exploiting the cult in revenge for having been exploited!
Sooner or later, former cult members will have to face up to any cruel, immoral and unethical things that they did while inside. They may have been involved in illegal acts; they may have caused much personal suffering to people.
Steve Hassan says this about himself:
“I felt terrible for what I had put my family through. They were wonderful to me, but I still felt a tremendous sense of guilt. I felt even more guilt for what I had done as a Moonie. I had lied to people, manipulated them, tricked them, and induced them to abandon their families, education, and relationships to follow a would-be dictator.”
He says this about cult leavers in general:
”...most have to cope with how they treated their family and friends during the time of their cult membership. For example, some people, when their father or mother became ill, followed cult leaders' orders and refused to visit them in the hospital. In some cases the parent died and the member was not allowed to go to the funeral, even though it might have taken place only twenty miles away. It can be extremely painful for a person to walk out of a destructive cult and have to deal with the havoc and emotional damage that his membership caused.“
The above examples are bad enough; this is even worse:
“Many people involved in faith-healing cults have to deal with the death of a child or loved one who was blocked from medical treatment.”
Steve Hassan says something about such people that not everyone will agree with:
“The remorse they feel when they leave such a group should not be turned on themselves in the form of blame or guilt. They must realize that they were victims too and did what they believed to be right at the time.”
Maybe some of them did have had reservations, but they obeyed their cult leaders' orders anyway.
A lot more could be said on the subject of crimes committed and suffering inflicted by cult members; would-be helpers need to go very carefully here.
Combating Cult Mind Control contains several references to the number four, some of them in connection with key elements.
As mentioned in previous articles, Steve Hassan divides cults into four main types; as a senior cult member he was instructed to think of potential recruits in terms of four different personality types and adapt his approach accordingly; he also describes the four components of mind control.
He has this to say about four points that he makes to cult members:
“Since cults lure people into what amounts to a psychological trap, my job as an exit-counselor is to show a cult member four things. First, I demonstrate to him that he is in a trap—a situation where he is psychologically disabled and can't get out. Second, I show him that he didn't originally choose to enter a trap. Third, I point out that other people in other groups are in similar traps. Fourth, I tell him that it is possible to get out of the trap. While these four points might seem very obvious to people outside a cult, they are not at all immediately apparent to anyone under mind control.“
Steve Hassan has also written four books. The Cult of Trump (2019) is the latest.
In addition to Combating Cult Mind Control and Freedom of Mind, Steve Hassan is the author of Releasing the Bonds (2000).
I have still read only the first one, but will investigate the others some time.
Teaching people to think for themselves may help cult leavers to adjust to the real world and prevent some people from joining a cult in the first place:
