Defence Against the Dark Arts Part XXX: Richard Barham's Ingoldsby Legends

My first encounter with Richard Barham's Ingoldsby Legends was in the pages of Rider Haggard's exciting adventure story King Solomon's Mines. 

The hero Allan Quatermain says that while he is not a literary man, he is very devoted to the Old Testament and the Ingoldsby Legends. He reads these two books for the comfort of the familiar and the wisdom that they contain. 

He refers to and quotes from the Legends several times, and in the sequel Allan Quatermain says that he often reads them when awake at night.

Intrigued by these references and hoping to find a new source of good reading material, I decided to get the book so that I could experience its attractions for myself. I found a very old copy in a second-hand bookshop and opened it eagerly when I got home. 

There was much more material in the book than I was expecting, and I wasn't disappointed in the stories either. I found many of the Legends very amusing and enjoyable to read. I could now understand why this book always accompanied Allan Quatermain in his wanderings.

An overvew of the Ingoldsby Legends
The Ingoldsby Legends, or Mirth and Marvels, to give the book its full and very appropriate title, is a collection of around 65 miscellaneous stories and poems, many with a supernatural element. 

The Legends are attributed to 'Thomas Ingoldsby of Tappington Manor', but they were actually written by the Reverend Richard Harris Barham. 

Much of the material in the Legends is based on traditional Kentish myths, legends and folklore. 

There are many references to ghosts, witches and demons, and Old Nick i.e. the devil makes many appearances. However, as the Legends are intended to entertain the readers they are just as funny as they are frightening. 

Defence Against the Dark Arts Part XIX: Anthony Armstrong's Prune's Progress

While working on the article about Eleanor and Herbert Farjeon's Kings and Queens, I was reminded of Prune's Progress, Anthony Armstrong's book about the genealogical tree of wartime comic-strip hero Pilot-Officer Percy Prune, RAF. 

Prune's Progress also has something in common with Sellar and Yeatman's history book parody 1066 and All That.

These little books contain amusing illustrations and witty text. The text greatly enhances and complements the pictures, and vice-versa.

Something about Prune's Progress
Prune's Progress (1943) consists of a sequence of 28 pictures, each of which depicts a member of the Prune family tree and is accompanied by a short summary of his or her life. 

The book starts with the descent from the trees of an apelike ancestor, passes through the generations and ends with the latest member: Pilot-Officer Prune of the Royal Air Force. 

Writer Anthony Armstrong provided the text, and the pictures are the work of cartoonist Raff.  

Anthony Armstrong was the retired army captain George Anthony Armstrong Willis (1897-1976), and Raff was the airman William John Henry (Bill) Hooper (1916 – 1996). Affable dimwit and hopeless incompetent Pilot-Officer Percy Prune, with his catchphrase of “Good (or bad) show!”, was their joint creation.

This is the first edition of Prune's Progress:

Defence Against the Dark Arts Part XVII: The Farjeons' Kings and Queens

When I was working on the article about the witty and amusing books of W. C. Sellar and R. J. Yeatman, their British history textbook parody 1066 and All That made me think of Eleanor and Herbert Farjeon's Kings and Queens, which was first published in 1932. 

The time has finally come to say a few words about this light and amusing little book.

Something about Kings and Queens
Kings and Queens is a children's classic that adults also enjoy reading. It consists of a collection of forty-one (originally thirty-eight) short poems about English and British monarchs. It is intended to be both educational and fun to read. 

The first poem is about William I, who became king in 1066.

The final poem in the early editions is about George V, who was on the throne when the book was first published. The 1953 edition, which was produced to mark the coronation year, also covers Edward VIII, George VI and Elizabeth II.

In between these monarchs, each member of each dynasty is honoured with a poem. Lord Protector Oliver Cromwell also gets one, even though he was not an actual king!

Kings and Queens is available in several editions and has been illustrated by a variety of artists.

This is the first edition:

Queen Elizabeth I
Elizabeth I is a good example of the poems in the Farjeons' book:

Hail, Queen Elizabeth! Here comes Queen Bess
In a very big ruff and a very wide dress;
Her hair it is red, and her eyes they are green,
And England has prospered since Bess became Queen.
…

She's vain as a peacock that opens its tail,
She's proud as an eagle that weathers the gale,
She's crafty and jealous, suspicious and mean,
But England is England now Bess is the Queen.

That sums her up quite well!

Defence Against the Dark Arts Part XVI: J. B. Priestley's Low Notes on a High Level

The novelist J. B. Priestley has been mentioned both as a reader of and contributor to the Everyman Library and as the author of Angel Pavement, the likely inspiration for Stella Gibbons's novel My American. 

One of his minor works is a little book called Low Notes on a High Level, which was first published in 1954. 

Priestley called Low Notes a 'frolic'. It is very light; it is amusing and original. 

The plot is preposterous; it features some huge, bizarre, imaginary musical instruments that can play very low bass notes. Also included are some colourful characters, a fictional Scandinavian country, classical music on the radio and a pirate broadcasting station run by a freedom-loving rebel. 

Unlike some of the other featured books, Low Notes does not contain much quotable material. The story needs to be read as a whole: most extracts would not do justice to the book as they wouldn't mean very much or seem very amusing without the surrounding context.

Satire in Low Notes on a High Level
Priestley was a strong critic of many aspects of contemporary society. In Low Notes he took the opportunity to satirise practices of the day that he disapproved of and people he had a low opinion of. 

Much of Priestley's criticism of certain organisations and the people associated with them was inspired by his experience of working for the BBC as a radio presenter during the Second World War.

He disliked politicians, pretentiousness and bureaucracy; he rather despised conformists, people who are types rather than individuals and herd members who don't think for themselves - like these two committed consumers for example:

“If the Coronation had lasted for twenty-two hours on TV, they would never have taken their eyes off the screen, even at the risk of going blind and dotty. Always they did as they were told, Enid asking for Shifto the magic washing powder, Bernard demanding Filter-Dung the new cigarette.”

Defence Against the Dark Arts Part XII: The books of Sellar and Yeatman

The article about balancing depressing books with amusing and uplifting ones gives Terry Pratchett and Gerald Durrell as examples of people whose books can be used to counteract the damaging effects of negative and distressing material. 

After reading still more such material, I needed to take another break and find another antidote. I remembered the witty and amusing books of W. C. Sellar and R. J. Yeatman: the best passages are good for dispelling dark clouds. Just like Rudyard Kipling's Stalky stories and Geoffrey Willans and Ronald Searle's Molesworth books, both of which are featured here, they are a good defence against the dark arts.

They may not mean much to people unfamiliar with traditional British culture though, and as time passes they may seem increasingly dated, stale, juvenile and irrelevant to British readers.

W. C. Sellar and R. J. Yeatman
Scotsman and schoolmaster Walter Carruthers Sellar and Englishman Robert Julian Yeatman were born in 1898 and 1897 respectively. They met at Oriel College, Oxford and became lifelong friends. They collaborated on four humorous books, which were illustrated by John Reynolds:

1066 and All That (1930)   And Now All This (1932)
Horse Nonsense (1933)    Garden Rubbish (1936)

1066 and All That is by far the best known of the books and in my opinion much the funniest.

1066 and All That
1066 and All That: A Memorable History of England, Comprising All the Parts You Can Remember, Including 103 Good Things, 5 Bad Kings and 2 Genuine Dates was first published as a series of articles in Punch magazine then in book form in 1930.

1066 and All That is a parody of the textbooks used for teaching British history in schools at the time. Familiarity with the style and material that is being parodied is essential for getting the most out of this little book.

Defence Against the Dark Arts Part X: Plus X and Bad Medicine

There are two very amusing short stories that I feel impelled to re-read from time to time. One is Plus X by Eric Frank Russell, the other is Bad Medicine by Robert Sheckley.

Plus X was written by an Englishman, Bad Medicine by an American. Both stories were first published in 1956, in the classic pulp science fiction magazines Astounding Science Fiction and Galaxy respectively.

Plus X is about a human prisoner of war on an alien planet; Bad Medicine is about a homicidal maniac in New York. Both men use psychological methods to escape their condition. 

I don’t want to be a spoiler, so will say only a little more about the stories.

Plus X by Eric Frank Russell
John Leeming is the hero of this story. He is a prisoner of war, captured by a reptilian race. He escapes by fooling the enemy, persuading the reptilians that earthmen and their alien allies have invisible, and dangerous, companions.

For me, one of the best scenes is when one of the enemy aliens interrogates another earthman prisoner - who knows nothing about Leeming’s lies - about these companions to get some independent confirmation. This man has no idea what his captor is talking about, but manages to give very good answers that confirm the story. 

He says, “Where did you get this information?”, and when asked whether the invisible companions might manage to take over some of the reptilians, says with great menace, “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

It is all very amusing and very clever.

Defence Against the Dark Arts Part VIII: Two school stories

My investigation of Rudyard Kipling's early life has stirred up memories of two good books about life in boys' schools, one of them written by Kipling himself:

Stalky & Co. by Rudyard Kipling

The Compleet Molesworth by Geoffrey Willans and Ronald Searle.

The Molesworth books are much lighter than the Stalky stories; they are greatly enhanced by Ronald Searle's cartoons.

Rudyard Kipling is a great writer; Ronald Searle is a great illustrator.

Both books are very funny; they have brought great enjoyment to large numbers of people. I am very glad that I read them when I was young enough for them to make an indelible impression.

Reading in childhood

Children may read to escape, to fill gaps in their lives, to exercise their imaginations, to learn directly and indirectly and for enjoyment; whatever the cause, they may remember what they read for the rest of their lives.

Ayn Rand for example read a story in a magazine in 1914, when she was nine years old.  Her biographer Barbara Brandon managed to locate a copy of the magazine in 1982, and discovered that Ayn, who had recounted the story to her at considerable length, had remembered almost every detail, both major and minor, of this work that she had not read since the age of nine.

As a small boy in Southsea, Rudyard Kipling escaped from his unbearable life by reading. He never forgot some of the stories and poems that he read in books and magazines during this time. He wrote about them and his efforts to identify some of them in Something of Myself.

I can remember most of what I read as a child very vividly. Some of it was buried for many years but it was still all there, including these two books about school life. They have their critics; they may seem dated, irrelevant and politically very incorrect, but they are part of my life and I feel privileged to have read them.

Defence Against the Dark Arts Part VII: Charlotte Brontë’s Martin Yorke

Of all the characters in all the Brontë sisters’ novels, Martin Yorke, who appears in Charlotte Brontë’s socio-historical novel Shirley, is my favourite.

Shirley (1849) is set in rural Yorkshire in 1811/12 against a background of industrial unrest, of violent opposition to the introduction of machinery in the local textile industry. 

Charlotte Brontë intended Shirley to be a counterpoint to her first novel, Jane Eyre, which was considered to be melodramatic and unrealistic. Shirley was to be political, significant, true to life and, in her own words, “...real, cool and solid, ...as unromantic as Monday morning.” 

Similarly, Martin Yorke is very far from being a dominant, dangerous, glamorous, smouldering, rugged romantic hero like the demonic duo of Heathcliff and Mr Rochester. Martin is nobody’s fantasy ideal man: he is a funny, greedy, clever, mischievous schoolboy who in my opinion is worth more than both those bad Byronic boyos put together. 

Martin Yorke is only a minor character in Shirley, but the scenes I most enjoy in the book are the ones that he appears in. His antics and sayings remind me not only of Rudyard Kipling’s Stalky, but also of people I have known in real life. Charlotte Brontë modelled him on the brother of a close friend of hers.

Introducing Martin Yorke
Martin Yorke is 15 years old at the time of his big scene; he has two brothers who are older than he is; he sometimes proposes starting for Australia to obtain some freedom and escape the tyranny of Matthew, the favoured eldest son. 

Martin attends the local grammar school; he likes to read books of fairy tales, but only in secret. Food and adventures are his main interests.

Defence Against the Dark Arts Part VI: Two amusing anecdotes

I have many painful memories of incidents in shops and on buses. I have one or two positive memories to offset the bad ones, memories that give good feelings whenever I return to them.

The honest electronic equipment salesman
Some years ago, I was very dejected after realising that I had been cheated by a laptop repair company. They lied to me when they told me that they had returned my laptop to the manufacturer: the latter said they had never seen it. I was without my laptop for weeks, and I paid a lot of money for repairs that did not last very long. 

I found another repair shop nearby; they told me that they got a lot of business from people like me, people who had been given bad service by the other place. 

I was waiting in this shop when some people came in and asked if they sold video cameras. 

One of the men behind the counter said, “We only have one model, and I wouldn’t buy it if I were you: it’s rubbish!” 

When I told him that I admired his honesty he said, “It’s always best to be honest. The only person I ever lie to is my wife:  I would never get any peace if I didn’t.” 

I thought that this was very amusing. It lifted my mood and things did not seem quite so black.  

I was much more selective when choosing the second repair company than I was with the first one, which by coincidence went bankrupt not long afterwards.

Defence Against the Dark Arts Part IV: Colin Turner’s Born to Succeed

Some years ago, while poking around in a charity shop I noticed an old paperback book. Something made me pick it up, and I saw one or two things inside that made me decide to buy it despite the fact that it was a book about succeeding in business and was not very clean - it had obviously been read many times.

The book was Born to Succeed: Releasing Your Business Potential by Colin Turner.

I am not interested in building a business, and I am very doubtful about the worth of much of the material available on the subject. However, my radar was quite right: the book did contain some useful information; it also confirmed some of my ideas about unseen influences. The advice given may sometimes be obvious and not always original; I found the book neither illuminating nor life-changing, but well worth reading.

One of the previous readers had highlighted some paragraphs and made comments – in Turkish! Most of the highlighted parts were of no particular interest to me as they were business-related, but I made notes of some of the material that resonated the most.

“Reading more than anything else stimulates the mind: use it or lose it.”

This is telling me exactly what I want to hear! Reading stimulates the imagination too, whereas watching television short circuits the imaginative process.

“Books/others are teachers not masters, agencies not sources.”

I agree with this. “Call No Man Master”, and do not treat any book as a bible.

Defence Against the Dark Arts Part III: More from Vernon Howard

If there are any energy vampires and emotional blackmailers in your life, you may find the following defences useful:

• Don’t dump your trash on my desk.

• Who said I had to explain myself to you?

• If you want to fight, find another enemy.

• What if I made the demands on you that you make
        on me?

• I won’t lift a finger to solve the problem you have 
        caused.   

• I was not born to be the ear to your chattering
        mouth.    

• No, I don’t owe you a thing.     

• You are several years too late to play that trick on 
        me.

• How evil of you to try to drag me down to your low 
        level.

I think that nos. 4 and 8 are particularly effective: if only I had been able to say this to the victimisers in my life...it is too late for me, but perhaps other people will find this list useful.

Defence Against the Dark Arts Part II: Terry Pratchett’s books

I have found that Terry Pratchett’s Discworld books brighten the atmosphere: they are ideal for driving away black moods and dispersing the dark clouds of depression. 

I particularly like the books that feature his three main witch characters, Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg and Magrat Garlick. The three witches in Macbeth were the inspiration for these ladies. He said that three is a natural number for witches. It is just a coincidence that when I was at school, someone likened me and my two sisters to the three witches in Macbeth!

Not only do these books entertain, amuse and raise one’s spirits, they also contain material that seems to me to be relevant to some topics on this blog. I have already made a connection between the effects that Terry Pratchett’s illusion-creating elves have on humans and the effects that some glamorous energy vampires have on their victims.

Some of what Pratchett says about magic and how it attracts undesirable entities could apply to unconscious or psychological black magic and how it attracts – or is even caused by - forces that sabotage the lives of the practitioners. 

Defence Against the Dark Arts Part I: Vernon Howard’s booklets

Reading the right words in the right way at the right time can have an effect that is almost magical. Something changes permanently for the better on the inside, and this causes a change for the better on the outside. The illumination caused by reading and understanding the words changes our vibrational rate; lumps in our subconscious minds disappear; we move on to a better psychological area; we become different people and thus we attract different types of people and experiences.

This process is not under our conscious control. What works for other people does not always work for us, and vice versa.

I heard very good reports of A Course in Miracles so I got a copy, but I found that I could not get through it. It did not speak my language nor resonate with my thoughts and experiences. I wanted to get something positive from this book but my subconscious mind refused to co-operate. Not only did it not like the book, it disliked it very much! Other people may have transformed their lives thanks to this book, but it did nothing at all for me.

It was very different when I picked up a little booklet in a New Age bookshop. It was 50 Ways To See Thru People by Vernon Howard. Something about it attracted me, so I bought it and three companion booklets. I got a lot out of reading these little publications, which came into my life at just the right time.  They provide a good introduction to the subject of spiritual development.