Defence Against the Dark Arts Part V: Conspiracy Theory Humour

I have mentioned how junk food, many TV programmes and junk advertisements on the radio make me feel ill: I just can’t tolerate them.

 

I feel the same way about many of the conspiracy theory discussions to be found online: bad English, unpleasant language, crass juvenile humour and insults, repetition of debunked allegations, presentation of platitudes as original insights, meaningless drivel and incomprehensible posts that add nothing of value to a discussion...they all have a bad effect on me. 

There may be useful information and amusing material here and there, but it is not worth trawling through the dross in the hope of finding an occasional gem: it is too time-consuming and too demoralising.

However, I do sometimes come across something really good by accident. I like conspiracy theory humour, and I recently found some amusing posts that seem worth highlighting.

A website called Godlike Productions provides some entertainment in the form of very long threads with titles such as:

"I am a former member of the Illuminati: ask me a question."

Or, even better:

"I am God: ask me anything."

The David Icke Forum too sometimes has amusing posts. 

For example, a recent thread entitled Reptile sub-species ‘The Companions’ starts:

“I am a member of this race. There are just under 3,000 of us on Earth; mostly in locations with advanced human technology and culture. We are a neutral race… I am concerned that I may be attacked for revealing this information but it is needed... I will be answering questions, as long as the intent is not hostile. We do not deal with hostility as it conflicts with our final goal of true peace through neutrality.”

One of the best responses addressed to the reptilian ‘Kersh’ was:

“Did you obtain a work visa when you came to this planet? We have rules on immigration you know. How long have you been here? Did you enter the atmosphere illegally?”

I was searching for information about ‘Pindar’ as David Icke had mentioned him in the context of reptilians, which reminded me that, by coincidence, I once worked in a building that was very close to a Pindar Street. Pindar is variously reported to be a dragon king, white skinned reptilian royalty, a high level Satanist, a Rothschild and Prince Charles’s real father. 

I found a question and answer thread on Godlike Productions called All questions on Reptilians are welcome here. 

Although the anonymous poster seems to think that Pindar is a lizard as opposed to a dragon, I think that his question is absolutely brilliant and very funny:

“If I were to pull on Pindar’s tail, would it come off?”

If I ever incidentally find any more really funny conspiracy theory material I will put it into another article.

Aryan supremacy: blond hair and blue eyes versus black hair and brown eyes

The idea that people from the Nordic race are superior to those from other races was of enormous importance to Adolf Hitler and the Nazis. They propagated that the best kinds of human beings were Northwestern Europeans, white-skinned people with blue eyes and blond hair; this meant that races such as the Negroid, Slavic and Mediterranean and people with black hair and brown eyes were considered to be inferior. 

Similar ideas affected people whose lives are of interest to me. 

When I first read a biography of Louisa May Alcott, I learned that her father was what we would now call an Aryan supremacist. Bronson Alcott was tall, and he had blond hair and blue eyes. He said that such people were superior to dark-haired people with black hair and brown eyes. Louisa resembled her mother, who could have passed for Spanish or Italian.

Bronson Alcott thought that his colouring indicated associations with the light and good, angelic forces; this implied that Louisa and her mother were not only inferior, but also dark, evil and demonic. When Louisa brought home a young man with fair colouring, Bronson said, “Sir, you are a child of light”. Why was this issue so important to him? What effect did his views have on Louisa and her mother?

Is it just a coincidence that Louisa was born in Germantown, Philadelphia? This reminds me of the connection between the Mitford family, Unity Valkyrie and her Aryan supremacist grandfather Bertie Mitford in particular, and Swastika, Ontario.