Who having known the Diamond...

“Who having known the Diamond will concern himself with glass?”

I like this quotation from Rudyard Kipling's autobiographical work Something of Myself very much.

Kipling's words go straight to the heart. They say to me that people who have encountered the best will not settle for or want to be involved with anything less. I see his words as a very neat and clever way of saying that anyone who has experienced the real thing will not be fooled by a counterfeit or a cheap copy.

I know from experience that this is not always the case. Some people ignore, avoid and reject the diamond and home in on and embrace the glass. I have seen innumerable examples of such twisted values in the past, and often wondered why this should be.

I am not talking about people who have never seen, heard of, read about, experienced or imagined the best, the real deal; some people have low horizons and few opportunities. I am not talking about people who are unable to recognise differences, make comparisons or grade and classify what they encounter; some people have limited understanding and little ability to look at things objectively.

I am not talking either about people whose diamonds may look like glass to other people; sometimes 'diamond' may just mean the most suitable, or the best that someone can envisage, achieve and attain.

Here are a few examples from my own experience.

Popcorn time and popcorn timing

I really liked the expression 'popcorn time' when I heard it for the first time a few years ago. It is a spectator sport alert, a neat and clever way of telling people to get ready because an amusing show is about to start.

I have seen it used a lot recently, and this has reminded me of a popcorn-related incident from the past.

It all started when I took some young children to a shopping centre to see the Christmas attractions. There was a popcorn-making machine there that fascinated my young friends. The popcorn danced on a jet of air; they watched this for a long time.

It was obvious that they wanted me to buy them some popcorn, but a small paper cup cost a small fortune and the popcorn didn't even look very good. As a matter of principle, I won't pay exorbitant prices for low-quality products.

The youngest girl cried and I felt guilty. I remembered getting some really good popcorn from Marks & Spencer a while back, so I promised them that I would bring some with me the next time I came to see them. 

I went to one branch of M & S but couldn't find the popcorn I wanted, which was one big bag with eight small individual bags of Butterkist inside, delicious and ideal for distributing to children. I went to another branch and looked everywhere. I remembered to check the sweet stands near the tills, but the popcorn I wanted wasn't there.

I decided that M & S must have played their usual game of bringing out something edible that people like very much then discontinuing the product. 

Unseen influences:should we forget it to get it?

I still remember how devastated I felt when first I read somewhere that by wanting something very much, we are likely to activate forces that prevent our getting it! People who can take it or leave it are more likely to get it. This rule seems very unfair, but it explains a lot. I just wish that I had learned it much earlier in life.

I noticed a similar rule operating in my life: one way to get something I want is to forget about it!

The shoes
I went on a trip that involved a lot of walking; I was not satisfied with the shoes I had so decided to get some new ones for my next trip. 

I went everywhere in the main shopping street and to a few other places; I spent many hours looking for something suitable, but came away with nothing. There was always a catch: shoes that I really liked were much too expensive; the cheaper ones did not have everything I was looking for in the same model. Where I liked the colour, they would not have my size; where I liked the style, they would not have the colour I liked.

I decided to forget it and wear the old shoes again. A few hours after letting go of the idea of new shoes, I was on my way home when my bus went past a clothes shop with a rack of shoes outside. I went to investigate, and found some perfect shoes on sale! I used to go past that shop most days, and this was the first, last and only time they had a rack outside. I felt that the universe had arranged everything just for my benefit.

I told this story to someone who was present on both trips, and she said that exactly the same thing had happened to her.  She just could not find anything suitable anywhere, so gave up and resigned herself to wearing her old shoes again. Not long after this, she happened to pass a charity shop, saw some shoes in the window, went inside to have a closer look and found that they were exactly what she was looking for. They were very cheap too!

Unseen Influences: gratitude and appreciation attract good experiences

This article was created as a counterpoint to the one about distress signals attracting predators. It could be that these phenomena are two sides of the same coin: perhaps it is only people who draw predators to them when they are feeling terrible who get good experiences after expressing gratitude and appreciation and giving out positive signals.

I still remember a time many years ago when I felt delighted with a children’s book I found in a discount bookstore. It was based on the Pinocchio story; it had lovely coloured pictures and simple text; it was a great bargain. I gave the book to someone as a present for her little boy. 

She told me later that it was ideal because he had not been very interested in learning to read, but he loved Pinocchio and this book had inspired him to want to learn to read so that he could understand the text. I didn’t know he couldn’t read very well nor that he liked Pinocchio, but perhaps the universe did!