Life after leaving a cult: predictable paths people take

There is a lot of information available about cults, cult-like organisations, cult leaders and cult members and ex-members. I compiled some ideas and information myself from personal experience, experience for which my researches found much independent confirmation. 

I made posts on a forum that no longer exists. I want to overhaul the material and put a few extracts on here, in the hope that they will be of use to someone.

I will start at the end, with a short account of what I know about people who have left one of these sinister organisations.

Groups most cult leavers fall into

Many people who leave a cult just want to recover and get on with whatever lives they can make for themselves, perhaps after telling their stories to a few people.

A few high-profile people may expose the practices and describe their experiences mainly for the money, attention and publicity. I am thinking of celebrity ex-members of organisations such as Scientology here. One of them has a TV show.

Then there are those who go into the mechanics of cult leadership and operation in great detail. They take action on an intellectual level. They do a lot of reading and research and consult a variety of sources. They want to understand what forces were at work, mainly for their own benefit. They may also hope to educate others and deter them from joining; some write very helpful books and articles. This is possibly the best option, but not everyone has the necessary resources.

Most ex-members will think that they are lucky to be out of it, but a few may feel lost and miserable and blame themselves for not being able to meet the (unrealistic) requirements and (outrageous) demands. They feel that they failed to make the grade. They feel inferior, not good enough for the elite organisation. They have let the leader and the cause down.

They have been expelled from Paradise and the gates locked behind them. They may be unable to cut their losses and move on with their lives, even when they have support, options and opportunities. They may feel even worse than they did when inside. They may be very depressed and just give up on life. Someone once explained all this to me when I asked about people who had left, but not spoken out against, a cult.

Unseen Influences: the attack-dog syndrome

The Jimmy Savile case has been discussed in great depth on the David Icke Forum. Much of the information and many of the issues are outside my experience but I do remember speaking out about him many years ago, long before any criticisms and accusations were publicised. His eyes, his 'vibes', his irritating mannerisms and that cigar gave me very bad feelings. I think that if he had come into the room, I would have run out of it. 

When I said this to some people, I experienced a lot of hostility and was accused of being snobbish. I ignored them and stood by my views, although at the time they were just the result of a personal antipathy caused by what I sensed about him.

I remember seeing a TV programme made by someone whose father killed himself after losing the money he had invested in Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme. The son spoke to a New York financier who said that when she expressed some doubts after being asked her opinion of Madoff and his scheme in the early days, the negative reactions were such that from then on she just said that she didn't know anything about him. In other words, a potential threat had been silenced.

I have expressed doubts about certain new employees a few times, doubts based on what I sensed was lurking below the surface, only to be met with indifference or accusations of various ‘isms’ and, “How can you say such things about this fine person.” 

In every case I was right: these people did a lot of damage to the company.

This angry reaction is sometimes known as the attack-dog syndrome. “You don’t know what you are talking about” is another one of their favourite automatic weapons.

Sometimes the people who attack have a vested interest in destroying threats to their beliefs - cult members and multi-level marketing supporters are good examples of this - sometimes they have no reason at all to make outbursts intended to flatten someone. Perhaps they have been unconsciously conscripted into the war against whistle-blowers.

I have learned to trust my feelings and intuition. I take such attacks as a dead giveaway that there is something evil lurking in the background that feels threatened. I am wary of anyone who makes inappropriately vehement attacks: I see them as controlled puppets or temporarily possessed random mediums, people who are being used to silence potential enemies.

What does it say about a cause if supporters need to defend it in this way? What does it say about the people who make these attacks? 

They don't understand that they are giving themselves away, at least to those who understand this particular kind of unseen influence.