Stella Benson and the sponging Russian count

Stella Benson’s life and works are inspiring many articles, and still the end is nowhere near in sight.

This article is about her involvement with a sponging expatriate Russian count; it involves a familiar personality type and associated scripted scenario.

Stella Benson generously helped this poor old man and made great efforts on his behalf, only to be met with insults, lies, delusions and ingratitude followed by yet more demands and hard-luck stories.

Stella Benson meets Count Nicolas

Stella Benson first met the frail, pathetic, penniless old man who called himself Count Nicolas de Toulouse Lautrec De Savine in April 1931. He was in a free bed in a charity hospital in Hong Kong at the time.

She felt very sorry for him even though he immediately started lying to her. He may have been confused and delusional rather that deliberately deceitful though. He told her that he had no money at all, then some fell out of his pocket. He showed her a picture of someone he said was a princess who had been crazy about him - it was an advertisement!

Stella Benson helps Count Nicolas

Count Nicolas was a mess of a person. Stella saw him as a free spirit broken by adversity. She decided to transcribe some of his ‘memoirs’ in the hope of selling them and getting some money for him.

She started to produce a book that consisted of both his reminiscences - or fantasies - and her commentaries on them. It was later published as Pull Devil, Pull Baker (1933). She gave him a very generous advance payment, but after Count Nicolas moved on he started sending her very frequent begging letters.

Then he appeared on her doorstep, ill and destitute. She gave the ‘silly old cadger’ some more money.

Diana Wynne Jones’s witch Aunt Maria: part III

A brief summary of Diana Wynne Jones’s Black Maria makes it seem like a complete fantasy, a children’s story that is interesting and entertaining but has little relevance to real life. I have actually found much of it familiar, informative and very useful - not so much the purely supernatural parts but the scenes involving mind control and manipulative behaviour. 

It is ironic that this little book is considered suitable reading for eight-year-olds yet it has caused me to produce so much material that I decided to break my article first into two then into three parts.

Telepathy, spying and psychic attacks
One member of Aunt Maria’s circle gives Mig a book of pictures, the kind a little girl will love. Some of them are indeed of flittery little fairies, but others are frightening and sinister: the worst one is titled ‘A naughty little girl is punished’ and makes Mig feel ill. This seems like a message, a warning, and reminds me of one of the disturbing pictures sent to Marianne in Marianne, the Magus and the Manticore by Sheri S. Tepper.

Diana Wynne Jones’s witch Aunt Maria: part II

I have performed several data mining exercises on Black Maria aka Aunt Maria by Diana Wynne Jones and found a lot of useful material each time I made another pass through the story. There are always more points of interest to be extracted and connections to be made.

Diana Wynne Jones said that Aunt Maria was based on a real person. This might well have been her mother, who by her account was a horrible woman. I have never met anyone quite like Aunt Maria, but some of the actions of her and her circle and the effects that they have on people are very familiar indeed. More and more similarities come to mind each time I go through the book. 

Aunt Maria lures the family into a trap
With people such as Aunt Maria it is important to identify them immediately, if possible avoid them completely and if not begin as we mean to go on and let them know where we stand. Unfortunately, we often realise this too late. 

Diana Wynne Jones’s witch Aunt Maria: part I

Aunt Maria appears in Diana Wynne Jones’s Black Maria aka Aunt Maria. She operates and does a lot of damage on more than one level: she is both a dreadful, detestable, manipulative old woman and an evil witch. 

Aunt Maria gets under my skin in a way that none of the other witches I have discussed so far does. I can read about her turning people into animals without any problems, but I can hardly bear to read the descriptions of her ‘this world’ behaviour towards the family that she asks to come and stay with her: it comes too close to home; it triggers very painful memories and feelings. 

Her intrusive behaviour over the phone in the first few pages of the book is more than enough to make me want to stop reading, but I persevere because there are lessons to be learned and points and connections to be made.

Aunt Maria’s personality and behaviour
Aunt Maria is hateful; she is insufferable; she is intrusive, annoying, selfish, demanding and controlling. She is a complete expert at using suggestion, disapproval, martyrdom, disappointment, guilt trips, intimidation, emotional blackmail and mind control to manipulate people into doing what she wants. She is cruel and unscrupulous. She is a tyrant in disguise: she subtly forces everyone to dance to her tune. 

Defence Against the Dark Arts Part III: More from Vernon Howard

If there are any energy vampires and emotional blackmailers in your life, you may find the following defences useful:

• Don’t dump your trash on my desk.

• Who said I had to explain myself to you?

• If you want to fight, find another enemy.

• What if I made the demands on you that you make
        on me?

• I won’t lift a finger to solve the problem you have 
        caused.   

• I was not born to be the ear to your chattering
        mouth.    

• No, I don’t owe you a thing.     

• You are several years too late to play that trick on 
        me.

• How evil of you to try to drag me down to your low 
        level.

I think that nos. 4 and 8 are particularly effective: if only I had been able to say this to the victimisers in my life...it is too late for me, but perhaps other people will find this list useful.

Energy vampires: my thoughts and memories Part II

How energy vampires feed

Some authorities say that the draining is done via the second or third chakra: this is very interesting as I remember having stomach pains that made me clutch myself and wrap my arms around myself when I was in the presence of certain members of my family. 

Energy vampires tend to stand very close, and parents may insist that you look at them when they are talking to you.  They may approach you silently so that you are thrown off balance when they startle you: this makes it easier for them to feed. I have experienced this many times. I have also been on the receiving end of techniques such as talking and complaining non-stop as a distraction from what they are doing, and continually asking stupid and unnecessary questions just as a pretext to approach and feed. 

They do not always need to be in their victims’ company: if there is a personal connection they can extract energy over the phone; they may send unpleasant letters or emails that give their victims a shock that lowers their defences so that the energy vampires can feed remotely.

Some vampires may not have specific victims; they drain the world at large by exerting a huge pull on the environment. They need fuel for their fantasies, and this can come from people whom they have never even met such as neighbours, fellow workers and people in public places.

Energy vampires or psychic vampires: my thoughts and memories Part I

Introduction
I first encountered the terms ‘energy vampire’ and ‘psychic vampire’ in books many years ago. I soon realised that I had been a victim of such people for my entire life. Giving a name to a problem is the first step towards solving it.  

Since then, I have read a lot of material about energy or psychic vampires and found much of it familiar, relevant and helpful.  I now want to add my own contribution to the available body of information by supplying some details of my personal involvement with these people. My first hand, excruciatingly painful, experiences enable me to confirm much that has been written on this subject. Energy vampires are indeed a major unseen influence on many people’s lives.

What are energy vampires and psychic vampires?
These terms are often used interchangeably. Energy vampires are also known as suckers, sponges and leeches. 

Energy vampires can be thought of as people who have lost contact with their real selves; they have no inner source of vital energy so they are forced to look elsewhere for their supplies. 

Most of us are issued at birth with an internal energy support system, but energy vampires for one reason or another have forfeited their legal right to this allowance or become disconnected from it so need to find illegitimate sources of food and fuel outside themselves. They survive by draining the people around them.

Note that this is not connected with the fact that introverts can feel drained, and extroverts energised, by interacting with many people. Extroverts often wilt when they are alone, whereas introverts enjoy solitude because it offers a chance to recharge. This is perfectly normal, and is merely a sign of under and over stimulation. 

Many energy vampires siphon off people’s vital energy just to keep going and maintain their front or image; others do it for more sinister reasons such as raising the power to get something that they want.

Becoming an energy vampire can be an unfortunate side-effect or result of illness, age, ill treatment by others and psychosis and other forms of mental disturbance. Some creative people and celebrities may well become vampires too.