Two incidents at the equinox

The article about depression at the autumn equinox describes how Charlotte Brontë suffered badly for a month to six weeks at this time of year. 

I have been feeing under the weather for around two weeks myself. It is worse than it has been in recent years, but nothing like as bad as it got in the distant past. 

While it helps to know that certain unseen influences may be at work, this doesn't stop the feelings of malaise, stagnation, despondency and being unprotected; it doesn't stop approaches from strangers who make me feel uncomfortable either. 

I experienced two such incidents when I went out shopping recently.

The first one happened when I visited a shopping centre some way from where I live. I have been there many times in the past, but I felt confused when I came out of the station. I made a false start or two, then set off down what I soon realised was the wrong road. As I walked past some tables outside a café, a rather weird and witchy older woman with straggly grey hair who was sitting there called out loudly, eagerly and triumphantly, “Hello darling” as if she knew me! 

I am wondering whether I fell into her psychic trap or answered her call and was drawn to that place because my defences were low at the time. The shopping expedition was not a success: the store I planned to visit had closed down and I came home with nothing.

The second incident happened when I was standing in a queue at a big supermarket. Someone just behind me started to comment in an over-friendly manner on the items I had selected; I looked round cautiously and saw that it was a rather weird and witchy older woman with straggly grey hair! The woman on the till was very slow and there were several people waiting in front of me, so I was a captive audience. I just smiled vaguely while she kept talking.  She also said loudly, “Hello darling” to the woman on the till! It was definitely not the same person though.

I am wondering what drew her to my queue and not one of the others. 

Unseen influences: seasonal depression and the autumn equinox

Depression at this time of year is common. I think that there is more to it than the feeling that autumn is here, winter is on the horizon and another year of our lives will soon be gone forever.

The occultist Dion Fortune said that one is on or off one’s contacts: they all break automatically at the equinoxes. That would explain a lot. I think of it in different terms - I would say that one’s personal firewall drops at this time of year and in the spring - but the symptoms are the same.

Charlotte Brontë had a lifelong sensibility to equinoctial changes. She wrote in a letter to Mrs Gaskell that the effects lasted approximately one month to six weeks around both equinoxes; sometimes she got severe headaches, sometimes she had to endure the feeling of being ground down to the dust with deep dejection of spirits.

Feeling tearful and empty and pessimistic about the future is to be expected. The best way to deal with it is to be prepared and ride it out.  Autumn especially is a time for staying in and reading or watching DVDs: children’s fantasy fiction and films are very suitable for this purpose. This is what I do, and it does help.

We may not feel like going out, but I have found that going on expeditions to see the beautiful autumn leaves helps to improve my mood. Sitting quietly near trees and water raises my spirits too. 

The painful feelings will recede – until another equinox comes round again.