Rudyard Kipling and the House of Desolation: Part I

There is an episode in Rudyard Kipling's childhood that is of great interest to me: the miserable years of torment spent in what he later called ‘The House of Desolation’.

He endured five and a half years of calculated neglect, persecution, punishment and humiliation at the hands of a horrible, cruel, religious fanatic of a woman called Mrs Holloway and her awful bully of a son. Some of the damage that this prolonged and constant torture caused was permanent.

He wrote about his ordeal in the short story Baa Baa, Black Sheep, in his novel The Light that Failed and in his autobiographical work Something of Myself. It makes very painful reading, at least for people who have experienced something similar.

This nightmare interlude in Kipling's childhood has also been described and discussed extensively in many biographies, reviews, essays and articles; there is no need to reproduce all the details and cover the same ground here. I just want to concentrate on a few aspects of this case, on some unseen but familiar influences and some connections that I have noticed.

First, a few questions.

Today is the 25th anniversary of Isaac Asimov's death

Isaac Asimov died at the age of 72 on 6th April 1992. His death was a great loss to the world.

I enjoyed reading his Science Fiction novels and stories very much; I bought an old 2-volume pack of his autobiography at a big discount a while back, and found In Memory Yet Green and In Joy Still Felt just as good.

I like information, and these books are packed with it. He describes his early life so well that reading about it made me feel as though I had grown up in a poor area in 1930s New York myself.

I like the way he puts his life into the context of the times; he comes to realise that while his family were poor, they were not destitute like others in the Depression era. He also puts his life and personality into the context of other people's; he is balanced and objective when interpreting his earlier behaviour and explaining himself to his readers.

I like the way he uses these books to pay off his old debts – of both kinds. Better late than never. He thanks a teacher who let him go on the school outing even though he hadn't qualified, and he thanks a professor who had shown favouritism towards him. He also pays back a few people he had grudges against!

I like the way he makes the small stuff, the petty details of his life, seem fascinating. I enjoyed reading about the food that he ate and the books that he read.

I like his honesty when he says that a lot of people couldn't stand him, and that he failed to get into medical school because of the offensive way he behaved at the interviews. Of course, he wrote this as a rich, famous, adored and successful author who had moved on and could afford to look back with amusement at his past failures and deficiencies; he could offset the bad with the good.

Exploitation and unfinished business in the life of Marie Corelli

There are some lessons to be learned from the financially successful but personally sad life of best-selling Victorian novelist Marie Corelli. 

One of these lessons is about taking responsibility where appropriate, as opposed to blaming someone else. It particularly involves learning to be a good judge of character and not being influenced by factors such as self-interest, self-deception and wishful thinking - as opposed to blaming the other party for not being what we thought they were or wanted them to be.

Blaming people for deceiving us and letting us down seems to be the default. We need to learn to look after our side of things; we need to learn from experience what to look for in people. In particular, we need to learn to recognise warning signals.

This extract from Marie Corelli's book The Silver Domino shows that she knew, in theory at least, that people should take responsibility and blame themselves for their own poor judgement when they feel that they have been deceived by someone:

"Remember that if you do persuade yourself into thinking that I am a Somebody, and if I turn out after all to be a Nobody, it is not my fault. Don't blame me, blame your own self deception."

This is admirable; it is spot on. However, she talked a better game than she played; she didn't apply her wise words to herself. The Silver Domino was published in 1892; here is an extract from The Young Diana, first published in 1918:

"I asked for love – now I ask for vengeance. I gave all my heart and soul to a man whose only god was Self, and I got nothing back…So I have a long score to settle, and I shall try to have some of my spent joys returned to me – with heavy interest."

This is Marie Corelli speaking for herself, and from bitter experience. She was raging at a man she had been infatuated with, because she felt that he had deceived her; he was not what she thought he was and wanted him to be. She had become disappointed and disillusioned. The expression 'Hell hath no greater fury than a women scorned' very much applies in her case.

Who having known the Diamond...

“Who having known the Diamond will concern himself with glass?”

I like this quotation from Rudyard Kipling's autobiographical work Something of Myself very much.

Kipling's words go straight to the heart. They say to me that people who have encountered the best will not settle for or want to be involved with anything less. I see his words as a very neat and clever way of saying that anyone who has experienced the real thing will not be fooled by a counterfeit or a cheap copy.

I know from experience that this is not always the case. Some people ignore, avoid and reject the diamond and home in on and embrace the glass. I have seen innumerable examples of such twisted values in the past, and often wondered why this should be.

I am not talking about people who have never seen, heard of, read about, experienced or imagined the best, the real deal; some people have low horizons and few opportunities. I am not talking about people who are unable to recognise differences, make comparisons or grade and classify what they encounter; some people have limited understanding and little ability to look at things objectively.

I am not talking either about people whose diamonds may look like glass to other people; sometimes 'diamond' may just mean the most suitable, or the best that someone can envisage, achieve and attain.

Here are a few examples from my own experience.

Popcorn time and popcorn timing

I really liked the expression 'popcorn time' when I heard it for the first time a few years ago. It is a spectator sport alert, a neat and clever way of telling people to get ready because an amusing show is about to start.

I have seen it used a lot recently, and this has reminded me of a popcorn-related incident from the past.

It all started when I took some young children to a shopping centre to see the Christmas attractions. There was a popcorn-making machine there that fascinated my young friends. The popcorn danced on a jet of air; they watched this for a long time.

It was obvious that they wanted me to buy them some popcorn, but a small paper cup cost a small fortune and the popcorn didn't even look very good. As a matter of principle, I won't pay exorbitant prices for low-quality products.

The youngest girl cried and I felt guilty. I remembered getting some really good popcorn from Marks & Spencer a while back, so I promised them that I would bring some with me the next time I came to see them. 

I went to one branch of M & S but couldn't find the popcorn I wanted, which was one big bag with eight small individual bags of Butterkist inside, delicious and ideal for distributing to children. I went to another branch and looked everywhere. I remembered to check the sweet stands near the tills, but the popcorn I wanted wasn't there.

I decided that M & S must have played their usual game of bringing out something edible that people like very much then discontinuing the product. 

King Charles II and synchronicity

I have been doing some research into the English Civil War, the Commonwealth and the Restoration.

I was looking for examples of the swing of the pendulum from one extreme to the other and the way that some people reject one way of life only to adopt one that is equally bad and damaging.

Reading about the Restoration reminded me of a time when I read a lot of historical novels, many of which featured the Merry Monarch King Charles II. He seemed very glamorous to me and much more interesting than most of England's kings. I was impressed by his involvement with the Royal Society and his patronage of Sir Christopher Wren.

I decided to refresh my memory about his life and reign when I got the chance, in the light of all the things I had learned since I read about him when I was just a schoolgirl.

I took some time out to go and meet a former colleague. She put a book into my hands; she said that when she told her husband she would be seeing me, he took a book from his bookcase and said, “Give her this.” 

The book was about the life and times of King Charles II!

No one knew that Charles II was very much on my mind. I have only met her husband once, a few years ago, yet somehow he sensed what I was thinking about.

Perhaps it was just a coincidence, but the universe often ensures that I get the books I want. I just wish that this would work for other things...

Unfinished business: three paths people take

I have noticed that some people get away with a lot. They behave badly but suffer no apparent consequences, internal or external. Perhaps the universe sees and treats them the way adults see and behave towards young children. Very small children cannot be expected to have much understanding or take responsibility for their lives, so some of their bad behaviour is excused.

Other people are not so lucky when it comes to dealing with unfinished business. Perhaps the consequences are age- appropriate punishments from the universe.

Failure to express feelings, failure to assert oneself, permitting exploitation of oneself and failure to think, speak and act appropriately according to the occasion are examples of unfinished business, as are ignoring problems in the hope that they will go away, habitually running away from difficult situations, going through life leaving messes, failed relationships and unhappy people behind, being out of touch with reality and not respecting the truth.

Many people find that unfinished business and ignored and unresolved problems and issues make themselves felt, very inconveniently and painfully, over and over again. Perhaps the universe treats selected people like under-performing schoolchildren who must retake the same examinations until the lessons are learned. The difficulty of the lessons and the severity of the consequences and the amount of pain felt when they are not learned may be proportional to the universe's estimate of the capabilities and potential of the student.

Carrying around a load of unfinished business is similar to living with a lot of debt.

Unfinished business can handicap us and sabotage or even ruin our lives.