There is an unpleasant phenomenon that occurs in some people’s lives. Unlike other unseen influences, energy vampirism for example, there is not much information available about it. Finding a new example recently was the inspiration for this article.
Stella Gibbons and the little smile
I first became aware of this phenomenon as something that happens in other people’s lives when I was reading about Stella Gibbons’s turbulent early life.
Her father was domineering, violent and melodramatic:
“In one memorable incident when she was 11, her melancholic father threatened suicide and her mother begged Stella to intervene. Even at that age, she recognized that her father was secretly enjoying the agony he was inflicting on his family, and this pretense and emotional cruelty left a deep impression.”
http://planetpeschel.com/2009/09/stella-gibbons-kills-a-genre-1932/
The little smile is mentioned in Out of the Woodshed: A Life of Stella Gibbons by Reggie Oliver:
“As the ranting went on Stella noticed that Telford had a slight smile on his face and was deriving a secret pleasure from the scene, much as an actor might do from tearing a passion to tatters. She was appalled. To suffer from a fit of despair was one thing; but actually enjoying causing a scene was quite another.”
This incident speaks for itself; it has been described as a turning point in Stella’s life. Reading about it was a turning point for me: I remembered seeing a few secret little smiles myself, and realised that I was not alone in having such experiences.
Two examples from my own life
These particular articles about Stella Gibbons do not mention a corresponding gleam in the eye, but I would bet that there was one: I am sure I saw a nasty gleam mentioned in an article I read ages ago about this incident in her life. They go together: the little smile is accompanied by a smug, satisfied, amused, gleeful, delighted, triumphant, contemptuous, malicious, sadistic gleam in perpetrator’s eye.
I remember getting a phone call from someone who said that he was a neighbour of my sister and that she was too ill to get up and phone me herself. This was before the time I confronted her about being an energy vampire: I was still on the hook and under the evil spell. I rushed across town, only to find her up and dressed, sitting there with a certain gleam in her eye and a half-concealed smile on her face. She was not seriously ill after all: I had been dragged out on a fool’s errand; I had been given a bad fright for nothing.
I remember seeing the same little smile and triumphant evil gleam on my father’s face when he realised that something he said had hit home: he told me that I was spoilt. This hurt not because it was true but because the opposite was: he was adding insult to injury.
Two examples from fiction
There is a scene in Clemence Dane’s Regiment of Women where the French teacher is crying and fellow teacher Clare Hartill, who is the person responsible for engineering the recent unpleasant scenes that have upset the French teacher, comes to comfort her. A schoolgirl witness says, "You should have seen her face. Sort of smiling at her own thoughts. Have you ever seen a spider smile?"
Again, no mention of a gleam in the eye but I am sure there was one.
Melissa by Taylor Caldwell describes how Melissa eventually realises the truth about her (dead) father Charles: he is not the great scholar he had always presented himself as and she has always believed him to be.
She sees their relationship clearly, puts everything into context and faces up to the awful truth. It is a terrible awakening: she now understands that he had always hated and despised her and had made a fool of her.
“Melissa…had even, in turning suddenly, often caught swift glints in Charles’ own eyes, had seen his faint and derisive half-smile…she had been uneasy after these occasions...”
This is uncannily familiar; it is a perfect description of what I am talking about in this article.
Antonia White and her father’s little smile
The novelist Antonia White also experienced this phenomenon. She was a small child at the time. In As Once in May, a collection of her autobiographical writings, she says that her father was furious with her because she had scribbled on the wallpaper, yet she could see a curious, one-sided smile as if he were pleased as well as angry. He seemed to be getting some sadistic enjoyment from the situation, which was a good pretext for inflicting punishment or at least terrifying Antonia by threatening to do so. A predator toying with its prey comes to mind here.
Another independent source of information
Carissa Conti has some very interesting things to say about this phenomenon in an article called The Hidden Puppetmasters on her In2worlds website.
She actually mentions a weird, amused predatorial smirk and a glint in the eye. She also mentions untrue claims being made by the perpetrator.
What does it all mean?
The Stella Gibbons incident happened in 1913; Regiment of Women was published in 1917; Melissa was published in 1949, on another continent. Antonia White’s incident happened around 1903. Carissa Conti is contemporary.
They all provide independent descriptions and confirmation of the same phenomenon, as do the examples from my life.
So what is it all about? What’s the agenda? Who or what benefits? Where’s the money? What’s the payoff? What is behind it all?
Is this scenario just a common behaviour pattern that is wired into people, a game that some people play?
Some people do love to fool others; some people just like to hurt others; some people want to make their presence felt; some people love to exercise and reinforce their power over others and make them dance to their tune; some people like to cry wolf; some people like dramas: they want to see everyone run around in a panic; some people stage regular performances because they want or need a fix of fear: they seem to feed on terror and other negative emotions.
On a deeper level, something sinister or even evil might be at work. The smile and the gleam may be warning signs, big red flags that should never be ignored. These signs may indications of a minor victory for evil forces:
“We have won and you have lost.”
“You have moved further into our power and more deeply into our debt.”
One outcome is that people are being distracted and subverted and resources are being wasted. People’s lives are being sabotaged; triggers are being set for similar victimisers in the future to take advantage of and buttons are created for them to press.
Not confronting the perpetrator means that unfinished business piles up for the victim. If you suppress any doubts or do not assert yourself, you have consented to be victimised; if you permit yourself to be victimised, you are setting yourself up for more of the same – and worse.
The more you give them, the more they want. As Rudyard Kipling put it:
“And that is called paying the Dane-geld;
But we've proved it again and again,
That if once you have paid him the Dane-geld
You never get rid of the Dane.”
Stella Gibbons and the little smile
I first became aware of this phenomenon as something that happens in other people’s lives when I was reading about Stella Gibbons’s turbulent early life.
Her father was domineering, violent and melodramatic:
“In one memorable incident when she was 11, her melancholic father threatened suicide and her mother begged Stella to intervene. Even at that age, she recognized that her father was secretly enjoying the agony he was inflicting on his family, and this pretense and emotional cruelty left a deep impression.”
http://planetpeschel.com/2009/09/stella-gibbons-kills-a-genre-1932/
The little smile is mentioned in Out of the Woodshed: A Life of Stella Gibbons by Reggie Oliver:
“As the ranting went on Stella noticed that Telford had a slight smile on his face and was deriving a secret pleasure from the scene, much as an actor might do from tearing a passion to tatters. She was appalled. To suffer from a fit of despair was one thing; but actually enjoying causing a scene was quite another.”
This incident speaks for itself; it has been described as a turning point in Stella’s life. Reading about it was a turning point for me: I remembered seeing a few secret little smiles myself, and realised that I was not alone in having such experiences.
Two examples from my own life
These particular articles about Stella Gibbons do not mention a corresponding gleam in the eye, but I would bet that there was one: I am sure I saw a nasty gleam mentioned in an article I read ages ago about this incident in her life. They go together: the little smile is accompanied by a smug, satisfied, amused, gleeful, delighted, triumphant, contemptuous, malicious, sadistic gleam in perpetrator’s eye.
I remember getting a phone call from someone who said that he was a neighbour of my sister and that she was too ill to get up and phone me herself. This was before the time I confronted her about being an energy vampire: I was still on the hook and under the evil spell. I rushed across town, only to find her up and dressed, sitting there with a certain gleam in her eye and a half-concealed smile on her face. She was not seriously ill after all: I had been dragged out on a fool’s errand; I had been given a bad fright for nothing.
I remember seeing the same little smile and triumphant evil gleam on my father’s face when he realised that something he said had hit home: he told me that I was spoilt. This hurt not because it was true but because the opposite was: he was adding insult to injury.
Two examples from fiction
There is a scene in Clemence Dane’s Regiment of Women where the French teacher is crying and fellow teacher Clare Hartill, who is the person responsible for engineering the recent unpleasant scenes that have upset the French teacher, comes to comfort her. A schoolgirl witness says, "You should have seen her face. Sort of smiling at her own thoughts. Have you ever seen a spider smile?"
Again, no mention of a gleam in the eye but I am sure there was one.
Melissa by Taylor Caldwell describes how Melissa eventually realises the truth about her (dead) father Charles: he is not the great scholar he had always presented himself as and she has always believed him to be.
She sees their relationship clearly, puts everything into context and faces up to the awful truth. It is a terrible awakening: she now understands that he had always hated and despised her and had made a fool of her.
“Melissa…had even, in turning suddenly, often caught swift glints in Charles’ own eyes, had seen his faint and derisive half-smile…she had been uneasy after these occasions...”
This is uncannily familiar; it is a perfect description of what I am talking about in this article.
Antonia White and her father’s little smile
The novelist Antonia White also experienced this phenomenon. She was a small child at the time. In As Once in May, a collection of her autobiographical writings, she says that her father was furious with her because she had scribbled on the wallpaper, yet she could see a curious, one-sided smile as if he were pleased as well as angry. He seemed to be getting some sadistic enjoyment from the situation, which was a good pretext for inflicting punishment or at least terrifying Antonia by threatening to do so. A predator toying with its prey comes to mind here.
Another independent source of information
Carissa Conti has some very interesting things to say about this phenomenon in an article called The Hidden Puppetmasters on her In2worlds website.
She actually mentions a weird, amused predatorial smirk and a glint in the eye. She also mentions untrue claims being made by the perpetrator.
What does it all mean?
The Stella Gibbons incident happened in 1913; Regiment of Women was published in 1917; Melissa was published in 1949, on another continent. Antonia White’s incident happened around 1903. Carissa Conti is contemporary.
They all provide independent descriptions and confirmation of the same phenomenon, as do the examples from my life.
So what is it all about? What’s the agenda? Who or what benefits? Where’s the money? What’s the payoff? What is behind it all?
Is this scenario just a common behaviour pattern that is wired into people, a game that some people play?
Some people do love to fool others; some people just like to hurt others; some people want to make their presence felt; some people love to exercise and reinforce their power over others and make them dance to their tune; some people like to cry wolf; some people like dramas: they want to see everyone run around in a panic; some people stage regular performances because they want or need a fix of fear: they seem to feed on terror and other negative emotions.
On a deeper level, something sinister or even evil might be at work. The smile and the gleam may be warning signs, big red flags that should never be ignored. These signs may indications of a minor victory for evil forces:
“We have won and you have lost.”
“You have moved further into our power and more deeply into our debt.”
One outcome is that people are being distracted and subverted and resources are being wasted. People’s lives are being sabotaged; triggers are being set for similar victimisers in the future to take advantage of and buttons are created for them to press.
Not confronting the perpetrator means that unfinished business piles up for the victim. If you suppress any doubts or do not assert yourself, you have consented to be victimised; if you permit yourself to be victimised, you are setting yourself up for more of the same – and worse.
The more you give them, the more they want. As Rudyard Kipling put it:
“And that is called paying the Dane-geld;
But we've proved it again and again,
That if once you have paid him the Dane-geld
You never get rid of the Dane.”
