Jean Rhys and some 'good ideas'

Among the unseen influences that affect people's lives, there are what I think of as good ideas and 'good ideas'. 

In the first case, obeying an inner prompting results in unexpected but very welcome benefits; in the second case, making a  wrong assumption, making an unwise decision or obeying an inner compulsion results in unexpected trouble or even disaster.

I am very interested in these ideas; I have experienced both kinds many times myself. For example, on the good side I described how I went to a small town on impulse and found a book that I had been looking for everywhere; on the other side, I described how I went on a long bus ride on impulse and it turned into quite an ordeal. 

These ideas also apply to some of the people featured on here. For example, Stella Benson's 'good idea' of walking through the night led to a nightmare scenario. 

I found another example of an expedition that was expected to be exciting but turned into a nightmare in Carole Angier's biography Jean Rhys: Life and Work. 

Jean Rhys's 'good idea' 
When Jean Rhys returned to her birthplace of Dominica after a 30-year absence, she had what she said was a 'splendid idea': she decided that she and her second husband Leslie would cross the island by the old Imperial Road. He and other people were – very sensibly - against the idea as the road was disused; as was usual with her, any opposition to her plans made her even more - childishly - determined to have her own way. Eventually they gave in. 

She expected to have a 'wonderful adventure that would end happily'; it all backfired of course. Carole Angier even says that she nearly got herself and Leslie killed in the attempt.

Cults and the cutting of personal connections: Part II

The previous article described in general terms the cutting of personal connections by cult members. 

This specific example, which speaks for itself, comes from an ex-member of a religious cult:

“When my sister got married I was not allowed to go to the wedding. My biological family did not matter anymore; it was all merged into a greater unity. Secretly I thought it was terrible not to be able to attend the wedding. I found out later that my sister had also been deeply wounded by my absence.

It was even worse when my grandmother died. On her deathbed, she had specially asked for me. But Lella, who was  to bring me there, delayed everything so long that, when we eventually reached the hospital, my grandmother had already passed away. Other family members had been there on time—only I was too late. I felt an intense anger and pain inside. But I immediately knew to put a smile on my face, because my feelings did not matter. I knew that, didn’t I?”

https://web.archive.org/web/20200618084714/https://www.icsahome.com/articles/i-really-believed-that-this-way-of-living-was-right-goudsmit-it-2-3

'Lella' obviously delayed everything deliberately. Subtle sabotage and undermining are common practices in cults.

I said this on the old forum:

“It is a very sad subject. The members who cut connections with their families might have a terrible awakening one day when they realise how much suffering they have caused and that it was all for nothing.”

I might add that it is just as excruciatingly painful when they realise how much of the suffering that they have endured was all for nothing.