Steven Hassan's books Combating Cult Mind Control and Freedom of Mind contain much good advice about supporting and rehabilitating people who have escaped from destructive cults. People who want to help cult leavers and cult leavers who want to help themselves will find these books very useful.
I have mentioned some of Steve Hassan's suggestions in previous articles inspired by his books. Some of the techniques and practices that he promotes have a wider application: for example, people who have escaped from dysfunctional families - some of which can be very cultlike - and are trying to process the past and rehabilitate themselves may also find them worth trying.
This article features and expands on three pieces of advice that are best followed in sequence: tell the story, rework the story and salvage as much as possible from the time spent in captivity.
Steve Hassan says that cult leavers are stronger for being able to share their personal stories. He also says that the written word is a powerful medium of communication, and that writing the entire story down helps the writer to process and gain a better perspective on the experiences.
This is all very true, but the story-telling exercise may be very time consuming and it may be difficult to know where to start.
This applies even more to people who are trying to come to terms with and move on from many years of neglect and ill-treatment at the hands of their families. People who are both cult leavers and members of dysfunctional families will have a lot of material to process.
A spreadsheet for topics and timelines provides a good structure and framework for the narrative, and using it to record key elements in someone's life may save time in the long run.
There are so many variables and different stories to tell that it is impossible to design a 'one size fits all' template.
A good way to get the ball rolling is to set up column headings and sub-headings for basic, useful and important information. It is advisable to start with key items such as people, addresses, dates and milestones. Lists of elements such as food and clothes, schools and jobs, toys and pets, books and music, entertainment, outings and travel will help to fill out the picture of the past. Other categories could include accidents, illnesses and painful incidents such as a family breakup. Political events and news items that made a big impression may also be worth recording.
It is best to concentrate on one aspect at a time and follow it through in sequence over the years of dependency and captivity.
The Internet can be very useful when it comes to pinpointing dates and finding background information and circumstantial and supporting evidence. I found online images of many of the houses that I had lived in for example, and the UK release dates of films I remember seeing when living in particular towns provided additional confirmation of my address at the time.
Bringing some facts and figures out into the open and getting them down in writing makes room for more memories to rise up from the depths, so it is often necessary to go back and add to the existing material.
Once the bulk of the past has been reconstructed and enough narrative produced to give a good picture of the client or practitioner's life to date, the returns on digging up the past may greatly diminish. This is the point at which to start thinking about moving on to the next exercise.
Steve Hassan recommends time travel:
“I suggest the client go back in time to crucial moments in his involvement and relive them—with the new information, resources, and perspectives that he now has.”
In other words, what would the client - or practitioner - have said and done if they had only known then what they know now and been able to stand up for themselves – and the truth – then the way they can now?
What would they have said and done if they hadn't been brainwashed and living under what in retrospect seems like an evil spell?
What would they have said and done if they hadn't been living in fear of the consequences of speaking up and taking defensive action?
What would they have said and done if there had been other options and they were not afraid of losing what little they had?
What would they have said and done if they had been empowered independent adults rather than helpless dependent children at the time?
This exercise entails looking at the past very objectively and from the elevated viewpoint of someone who respects the truth, goes straight to the heart of the matter, knows right from wrong and has experience of how decent, non-exploitative human beings speak and behave. It involves putting the past into the context of more fortunate people's lives and listing the differences.
Learning new concepts may be necessary here, and some extremely painful realisations may dawn. It can be devastating for example when people realise that they have been cheated, lied to, made a fool of and led to disaster or understand for the first time how neglected and ill-treated they were as children.
In Steve Hassan's experience, the game is worth the candle:
“This technique of re-visualizing past problems with the added resources of the present is very effective. Cult members who have issues that stem from their childhood can envision the younger self claiming and exercising their personal power.”
What could not and cannot be done in real life can be done in the imagination. People need to identify each occasion in their lives when they couldn't do justice to themselves and the situation; they then need to imagine what would have been a good, effective way of dealing with the unfinished business.
As an example of this technique in action, Steve Hassan shows how a successful recruitment attempt could have had a very different outcome:
“By imagining how they would have acted differently, a person can integrate the new resources into the cult identity. For example, the cult member might imagine a different response to the cult recruiter. Instead of saying, That sounds fascinating! they tell the person, I’m not interested! or Leave me alone! or Go away before I expose the group publicly.”
I have performed this exercise myself. If I could travel into the past with my current situational and personal resources, I would be able to defend myself against the people who took advantage of me. I would have a lot to say to them; I would confront them and challenge their views and actions.
Once much of the unfinished business from the past has been recalled, relived, reworked and mentally cleared, it is time to think about moving on to the next exercise.
One of Steve Hassan's suggestions to former cult members, which I commented on in the article about helping cult leavers, is to “remember the good and take it with you.”
There is more to say on the subject of looking for positive elements from the past that can in one way or another be of use in the present and future.
Following Steve Hassan's advice involves reviewing the past and asking some key questions about it:
What, if anything, did someone gain from being a cult member? In what way or ways did they benefit from the time and effort they gave to the cause? Is there anything at all in the way of positive experiences that can be salvaged from the wasted years, appreciated, built on, capitalised on, re-purposed and put to good use?
People from dysfunctional families may also benefit from asking such questions.
A good approach here is to go through the past systematically, one aspect at a time. There are many possibilities; a few suggestions may give an idea of what to look for.
Were any practical and useful skills gained, marketable or otherwise?
Organisation and management, research, information processing, setting up databases, campaign planning, producing propaganda articles and leaflets, catering for large groups of people, communicating effectively with many different types of people, driving a van and performing a range of domestic duties efficiently are examples of such skills.
Were any positive and useful personal qualities developed that might otherwise not have been?
Persistence, endurance, single-minded dedication, concentration, self-discipline and a strong work ethic are examples of what to look for. Self-sufficiency, in some areas at least, is another possibility.
Understanding the difference between needs and wants and having learned the hard way to live thriftily and frugally are very useful qualities when it comes to money management.
They may now feel gratitude for small freedoms that others take for granted, being able to make their own decisions, come and go as they please and read whatever they want for example.
Were there any financial and practical benefits?
Some cult members may have got benefits such as free food, clothes, accommodation and equipment. Their travel and training course costs and other expenses may have been paid for by the cult.
What, if any, useful and/or interesting information has been gained?
Manipulation techniques used to lure people into cults and keep them there come to mind: cult leavers have first-hand experience of this so can speak with authority and conviction.
People might have learned a lot about politics or religion. People who were required to travel frequently might have gained much geographical knowledge and experience of other languages, cultures and customs.
Are there any good memories and experiences to look back on?
Uplifting rallies and concerts with flags and stirring music, enjoyable journeys and sightseeing, encounters with celebrities and prominent people such as politicians are examples of some cult members' good experiences.
Being part of a community of like-minded people with a common cause might have felt good and given some security – for a while at least.
What, if any, useful lessons have been learned?
Clients and practitioners may have learned to reject any 'one size fits all' ideology.
They are neither intimidated by authority figures nor impressed by fancy job titles, and they don't fall for glamorous images. They may have learned the hard way that people they encounter along the way need to earn trust and respect. They may have learned to identify decent, on-the-level human beings as opposed to people with ulterior motives and a hidden agenda, so they no longer give time, attention and their power and money away to manipulators, exploiters and the undeserving.
Even if little or nothing positive can be found, even if the positive elements are much the same as or less than what someone would have got if they had never joined the cult – or if they had had a better family – performing this exercise together with the others often has beneficial results.
These practices all help people people to know who they are, what their story is, where they stand, where they came from and where they are going; they put the clients and practitioners in touch with reality.
Dr. Steven Hassan's resource centre:
Possible benefits from performing Steve Hassan'sTell, Rework and Salvage exercises:
