The article about depression at the autumn equinox describes how Charlotte Brontë suffered badly for a month to six weeks at this time of year.
I have been feeing under the weather for around two weeks myself. It is worse than it has been in recent years, but nothing like as bad as it got in the distant past.
While it helps to know that certain unseen influences may be at work, this doesn't stop the feelings of malaise, stagnation, despondency and being unprotected; it doesn't stop approaches from strangers who make me feel uncomfortable either.
I experienced two such incidents when I went out shopping recently.
The first one happened when I visited a shopping centre some way from where I live. I have been there many times in the past, but I felt confused when I came out of the station. I made a false start or two, then set off down what I soon realised was the wrong road. As I walked past some tables outside a café, a rather weird and witchy older woman with straggly grey hair who was sitting there called out loudly, eagerly and triumphantly, “Hello darling” as if she knew me!
I am wondering whether I fell into her psychic trap or answered her call and was drawn to that place because my defences were low at the time. The shopping expedition was not a success: the store I planned to visit had closed down and I came home with nothing.
The second incident happened when I was standing in a queue at a big supermarket. Someone just behind me started to comment in an over-friendly manner on the items I had selected; I looked round cautiously and saw that it was a rather weird and witchy older woman with straggly grey hair! The woman on the till was very slow and there were several people waiting in front of me, so I was a captive audience. I just smiled vaguely while she kept talking. She also said loudly, “Hello darling” to the woman on the till! It was definitely not the same person though.
I am wondering what drew her to my queue and not one of the others.
In both cases, although I was wary and sensed that something wasn't right, I kept calm and didn't react. I didn't feel frightened, annoyed, jarred or that my outings were sabotaged as I might have done a long time ago when such incidents were more common. It is actually all quite amusing, and has provided more supporting evidence for some of my ideas and a topic for a blog post!
Reading, writing and research are good ways to pass the time when there is little inclination to go out and staying inside seems the safest option. I have spent much of the down time creating a whole string of articles, enough to last until the end of the year.
I hope to feel up to going out to see some beautiful autumn leaves soon. Here is another view of London's St. James's Park at this time of year:
