This article was inspired by a comment that I came across in one of Dion Fortune's occult novels.
The speaker, a man, decides to send a male colleague who will make a good impression to talk in person to a woman about property matters:
“It is my experience that women take things in much better when they are told than when they are written to. As a matter of fact, being out of their depth when it comes to house property, they judge the man and not the scheme.”
From The Sea Priestess
This may at first sight seem rather patronising, not to mention just not true! However, the speaker does qualify what he says: he is not generalising about all women, just the ones he has been involved with in connection with his estate agency business.
The context of his remark is not relevant to this article; it is the underlying propositions that some people prefer to receive information in person and that the messenger is sometimes more important than the message that are of interest here.
While I much prefer to get information in writing and see the message as being more important than the messenger, I know from experience that some people do indeed want to be told rather than written to and often are more influenced by the teller than by the tale.
I suspect that many of the people who prefer to do everything in person are extroverts and/or feeling types! They just want company; they want human contact and personal attention so they look for pretexts to arrange a get-together.
Introverts may find it frustrating and annoying when such people want to meet rather than just exchange emails, however despite my personal preferences I can see that there is something to be said in favour of passing on information in person.
Just as I take in information much better when it is in writing, some recipients will understand and retain it much better when it is conveyed in person.
Some people respond better to the personal touch than they do to an impersonal message.
Some recipients of information can be influenced more easily by the speech and personality of a convincing conveyor than by the written word.
It is often very informative and useful for both the conveyor and the recipient to see – or sense - the effect on the other party of what they have said.
Another advantage of personal conversation is that it promotes quick thinking: it can help to speed up reactions and responses on both sides.
The advantages of exchanging information in writing are obvious.
The information is always there in record form as evidence and for reference. I sometimes want to check something or re-read and review some material in the light of new information that I have come across.
Written material can help to kill several birds with one stone: it is very useful when several different people need to be given the same information.
For me, the in-person approach is for gossip and small talk only!
