I wrote about a bad day I had in a previous post. I have had a few more bad days recently, and I have a good idea what caused them.
I kept walking into and tripping over things at home, giving myself some bruises.
I went out on some errands. I fell very heavily just outside the library: all I did was step on a tiny stone, but it rocked forward, threw me off balance and tipped me right over. I was very shaken; I got some more bruises and I grazed my hands.
Inside the library, a machine took my reservation money but did not credit my account; luckily the library staff believed me when I said I had paid, and they sorted it out.
I had a jarring shock when my internet connection suddenly stopped working when I was in the middle of something important. I did get it working again, but I had some bad moments.
The worst aspect was feeling depressed, apathetic and just plain terrible: as always, it got worse and worse then slowly wore off.
My normal practice at times such as this is to work backwards and look for an energy vampire. This time, I knew that a possibly stupid action of mine was responsible.
It all started when I saw a post on a consumer forum from someone who had discovered that his name and address details could easily be found online, even though he had opted out of the open electoral register.
I went on the site he mentioned, and could not resist trying the name of someone I had not seen for a very long time: I went ‘no contact’ by choice as I just couldn’t take any more.
I found a recent address, not far from the one I remembered visiting. I used to come away feeling very strange and drained.
Looking at the map gave me some strange psychic sensations and brought back some terrible memories. I reacted strongly and negatively deep down inside, on another dimension perhaps. Not only that, but I felt something respond: it was like a blast of vicious, malignant spite. It was as if my reaction had triggered a counter-attack.
Once again I may have alerted a spider by touching its web.
This incident reminds me of the scene towards the end of The Fellowship of the Ring where Frodo puts the ring on, sits in the Seat of Seeing and looks around. His gaze is held by the Fortress of Sauron, and the unsleeping Eye becomes aware of his gaze. A fierce, eager will leaps towards him, searching for him…
Tolkien had it right. This is exactly what it felt like.
Time and space are irrelevant in such incidents.
I kept walking into and tripping over things at home, giving myself some bruises.
I went out on some errands. I fell very heavily just outside the library: all I did was step on a tiny stone, but it rocked forward, threw me off balance and tipped me right over. I was very shaken; I got some more bruises and I grazed my hands.
Inside the library, a machine took my reservation money but did not credit my account; luckily the library staff believed me when I said I had paid, and they sorted it out.
I had a jarring shock when my internet connection suddenly stopped working when I was in the middle of something important. I did get it working again, but I had some bad moments.
The worst aspect was feeling depressed, apathetic and just plain terrible: as always, it got worse and worse then slowly wore off.
My normal practice at times such as this is to work backwards and look for an energy vampire. This time, I knew that a possibly stupid action of mine was responsible.
It all started when I saw a post on a consumer forum from someone who had discovered that his name and address details could easily be found online, even though he had opted out of the open electoral register.
I went on the site he mentioned, and could not resist trying the name of someone I had not seen for a very long time: I went ‘no contact’ by choice as I just couldn’t take any more.
I found a recent address, not far from the one I remembered visiting. I used to come away feeling very strange and drained.
Looking at the map gave me some strange psychic sensations and brought back some terrible memories. I reacted strongly and negatively deep down inside, on another dimension perhaps. Not only that, but I felt something respond: it was like a blast of vicious, malignant spite. It was as if my reaction had triggered a counter-attack.
Once again I may have alerted a spider by touching its web.
This incident reminds me of the scene towards the end of The Fellowship of the Ring where Frodo puts the ring on, sits in the Seat of Seeing and looks around. His gaze is held by the Fortress of Sauron, and the unsleeping Eye becomes aware of his gaze. A fierce, eager will leaps towards him, searching for him…
Tolkien had it right. This is exactly what it felt like.
Time and space are irrelevant in such incidents.
