The article about workplace memories was inspired by a few comments made to me by fellow workers many years ago.
Two incidents involving another colleague surfaced in my mind recently while I was thinking about the past. Again, they seem much more significant now that they did at the time. They provide supporting evidence for some of my ideas about psychological black magic, one of the unseen influences that inspired the creation of this blog.
It all started when a colleague, a computer programmer I shall call Mrs M., realised that she had made a mistake after making some requested changes and putting the updated software onto a spool of magnetic tape for the computer operators to release into the live system. She suddenly thought of a possible problem; rather than confess and follow the proper procedures, she fixed the error and when she thought that no one was looking went to replace the original tape with the new one that she had made.
Mrs M. got caught by the operators in the act of substituting the new tape for the old one. She was not too popular with them and they had a big argument. She became very upset and said, “Why can't they trust me?”
The atmosphere was becoming increasingly charged, then her phone rang. It was a neighbour: Mrs M.'s little girl had just fallen from her bike and the neighbour had carried her inside. She was slightly hurt, and the neighbour wanted Mrs M. to go and collect her.
So Mrs M. was off the hook – for a while at least. She had a perfect pretext for escaping from the office and the trouble that she had created.
Soon after this incident, Mrs M. had a big difference of opinion with a fellow worker, someone who had taken the operators' side at the time and said that trust has to be earned. Mrs M. seemed frenzied; once again the atmosphere was very unpleasant and once again her phone rang. It was the school: Mrs M.'s little girl had fallen in the gym, she was slightly hurt and the school wanted Mrs M. to go and collect her.
So once again Mrs M. was 'by chance' very conveniently called away from a difficult situation in the office, and once again it was because her daughter had had a minor accident.
After putting all this into the context of other incidents and identifying some familiar elements, I don't believe that the little girl's falls were complete accidents: I think that Mrs M. unconsciously caused them.
I think that she felt trapped and was desperate to get away, and, as often happens in such cases, got what she wished for but not in a good way.
People 'by chance' getting things at other people’s expense is for me a big warning signal.
Another significant element is Mrs M.'s attempt to cover up her mistake and not own up.
It is another warning signal when people don't calmly state their position and negotiate in the normal adult way.
Trust and respect do have to be earned; being childish and devious and avoiding dealing with difficult situations is not the best way to do this.
The little girl soon recovered and forgot all about the accidents.
I see them as good examples of both psychological black magic in action and lessons in how not to behave when having problems with co-workers.
“Making it easier to tell the truth at work”:
