The good inner state
I was on a bus one morning. As it drew near
to my stop, I got up and started to walk down the narrow aisle. A young man who immediately made me feel uncomfortable suddenly put a bag down in front of me, blocking my path. I sensed that a few
people had moved in behind me, guessed why, and immediately moved my backpack
round to the front so that no one could take anything.
The man smiled ruefully and moved his bag out
of my way. I turned round; I did not like the look of the people standing very close to me. The area is not good; there are services
that attract many people who are best avoided.
I was pleased with myself for immediately
seeing the risk and taking appropriate action. I realised that the outcome
could have been very different if my inner state had not been so good at the
time.
I had had a good night’s sleep and a good
breakfast. I was looking forward to doing some interesting work on a database:
I enjoy bringing order out of chaos. I was looking forward to seeing a very
good film on TV that evening.
I was living quite comfortably in the real
world that day, and had some spare capacity for dealing with the unexpected.
The bad inner state
On another occasion, I had a successful
shopping trip in an area I like very much. There is an open-air market and
other attractions, and I got a lot of stuff. I should have quit the game while
I was ahead and gone home, but I decided on impulse to take a long, scenic bus
ride into Kent. This 'good idea' turned out to be a very big mistake; it resulted in a small-scale nightmare scenario.
The bus journey ended at the main shopping
area. I found that it was very crowded, and although I had had very little to
eat or drink that day and felt in great need of some tea, I could not face
going in anywhere. I had no energy or inclination to explore either: I felt overwhelmed and at the end of my resources; I just
wanted to go home.
On the journey back, I noticed a small
suburban railway station and decided to take a train as it would get me home
much faster.
The bus stopped at what I assumed was the
back, the wrong side, of the station, so I dragged my heavy shopping up several
flights of steps, across the footbridge over the railway lines and
down to the other side, only to find that I was on the platform for trains
coming away from London! I went back over the bridge and then I noticed a
narrow gap leading onto the platform for London trains. It was close to the
bus stop where I got off.
I was angry with myself for getting the wrong idea
and not immediately seeing the platform entrance. Maybe inner demons were responsible. They wait for opportunities when we are depleted and
distracted.
I was exhausted when I got home, so I decided
to go to sleep early. The universe had other ideas: I closed down my laptop,
only to get a message about an important update. It said ominously, "This
might take some time."
It kept saying, "Please wait" - just
like the machines on another bad day! I couldn't leave it alone because it kept
restarting and needing answers to questions. It didn't finish until after
23:00!
Of all the days to do a major update, it had
to be that one! I have never known an update to take so long before or
since.
Extra precautions
Theft is very common. I have noticed many
people wearing their backpacks in front and hugging them to keep their
belongings safe. This is a normal precaution.
Some of us need to take extra precautions
against other kinds of problems. In
particular, it is vitally important to avoid reaching the end of our resources when far
from home.
As I have mentioned in other articles, distress
signals can attract predators and a bad inner state can result in bad decisions
and cause bad experiences.
I have seen sightseers in Paris who had been
travelling all night and had huge backpacks yet were alert and full of energy,
taking an intelligent interest in everything they saw. This is impossible for
many of us and we should not try to do something just because others are doing
it.
Our first priority should be to protect ourselves.
I had several hours of this at the end of a bad day:
