A tale of two very convenient 'accidents'

The article about workplace memories was inspired by a few comments made to me by fellow workers many years ago. 

Two incidents involving another colleague surfaced in my mind recently while I was thinking about the past. Again, they seem much more significant now that they did at the time. They provide supporting evidence for some of my ideas about psychological black magic, one of the unseen influences that inspired the creation of this blog.

The first 'accident'
It all started when a colleague, a computer programmer I shall call Mrs M., realised that she had made a mistake after making some requested changes and putting the updated software onto a spool of magnetic tape for the computer operators to release into the live system. She suddenly thought of a possible problem; rather than confess and follow the proper procedures, she fixed the error and when she thought that no one was looking went to replace the original tape with the new one that she had made.

Mrs M. got caught by the operators in the act of substituting the new tape for the old one. She was not too popular with them and they had a big argument. She became very upset and said, “Why can't they trust me?” 

The atmosphere was becoming increasingly charged, then her phone rang. It was a neighbour: Mrs M.'s little girl had just fallen from her bike and the neighbour had carried her inside. She was slightly hurt, and the neighbour wanted Mrs M. to go and collect her.

So Mrs M. was off the hook – for a while at least. She had a perfect pretext for escaping from the office and the trouble that she had created.

A few points about helping cult leavers

This is the fourth and final article inspired by exit-counsellor Steven Hassan's thought-provoking book Combating Cult Mind Control, his illuminating 'Guide to Protection, Rescue, and Recovery from Destructive Cults'. 

The first article covers some of the interesting things that Steve Hassan has to say about how cults recruit people. 

The second article contains disturbing information about life inside cults.

The third article features a few of the useful points that he makes in connection with getting people out of cults.

I now want to highlight a few of his ideas about helping people who have left a cult. I have already produced an article about life after leaving a cult, but Steve Hassan's book has inspired some more commentary. 

Would-be helpers need to understand what they are up against and dealing with; Steve Hassan has some distressing and depressing information about this. 

Helpers also need to learn what to do about it; the book has some useful and encouraging suggestions about what works best when helping cult leavers rediscover and live from their real selves, recover from the abuse they have endured and make new, productive lives for themselves.

The worst comes first
Steve Hassan has a lot to say about the many and severe problems faced by cult leavers, the biggest of which is loss of identity. They may also be suffering from arrested development, they may behave in an inappropriately dependent way, their self-esteem may have been destroyed, their critical faculties may be atrophied, they may have memory loss and find it difficult to concentrate, they may have trouble making decisions and they may have serious adjustment problems.

They may also be living in fear of some kind of retaliation by the cult.

A few workplace memories with a wider application

A few comments that were made by colleagues in companies I worked for many years ago suddenly surfaced in my mind recently and inspired an article. At the time, I just accepted the remarks at face value; now, they seem more significant and to have a wider application. 

Settling for far too little
I remember a time when a new IT manager was taken on. One of his first tasks was to go round to each workstation in turn and speed it up.

The boss said that he had no idea what had been done, but he wanted everyone to know how amazed and delighted he was with his workstation's performance after the upgrade. 

The IT man told me that he was amazed to see what the workstation users had been living with for a long time in terms of a very slow service. He said that he had seen similar situations in his previous job and couldn't believe what people had been putting up with until he arrived to sort things out.

I have often felt amazed for similar reasons myself, and in many different scenarios. How can some people put up with what they are getting? How can they settle for so little?  Do they not know how much better things could be? Probably not; Who having known the Diamond and all that.

Or maybe they are aware that what they have is of low quality, but assume that for them a better deal is unattainable.

It is always advisable to monitor what is out there and investigate the chances of moving on to something better. It is also a good idea to seek advice and assistance from someone more knowledgeable and experienced.

Seeing with new eyes
A memory that comes to mind in a similar connection is of a colleague who resisted wearing glasses for a long time - contact lenses were not an option for some reason. She finally bought some, and was amazed at how much clearer and stronger her vision was.

She told me that she wanted to cry when she realised how much better things could have been and how much she had been missing all this time.

A few points about getting people out of cults

This is the third article inspired by exit-counsellor Steven  Hassan's book Combating Cult Mind Control, his 'Guide to Protection, Rescue, and Recovery from Destructive Cults'. 

After covering some of the interesting things that Steve Hassan has to say about how cults recruit people and his disturbing information about life inside cults, I now want to highlight a few of the useful points that he makes in connection with getting people out of cults.

I have already produced an article about the difficulties of leaving a cult, but Steve Hassan's book has inspired some more commentary.

Three ways to get out of a cult
Steve Hassan comes straight to the point here:

“People leave a group in three basic ways: they walk out, they get kicked out (often in a very “burned-out" condition, both psychologically and physically), or they get counseled out.”

This summary is spot on. In addition, perhaps some people who are temporarily out from under the influence and away from other members may just decide not to go back. This is similar to but not quite the same as walking out; it could be that they mentally defected a while back and just waited for the right opportunity to cut the connection! 

Incidentally, Steve Hassan says that 'walk-aways' are often members who have been able to maintain contact with people outside the destructive cult; he also says that walk-aways make up the majority of cult leavers.

Counselling out: newcomers versus old-timers
When it comes to counselling people out, it may at first seem likely that the easiest candidates are those who have been members for only a short time and the most difficult those who have committed many years of their lives to the cause. 

Steve Hassan supports this idea:

“If I am contacted within the first few months of a recruitment, the prognosis for a successful exit within a year is extremely good. On the other hand, if the person has been in the group for ten years when I am contacted, it might be quite some time before an intervention can be successfully attempted...” 

Acting unprofessionally and out of character revisited

A few examples of people causing damage by acting unprofessionally and out of character have been given in the past; the time has now come to go into this phenomenon in a little more detail. 

The multi-level approach to finding explanations article mentions some of the influences that might cause people who are normally professional and efficient to behave uncharacteristically and make serious mistakes; this article revisits the issue, expands on these influences and includes some supporting material from previous articles.

The cases of interest here are those that occur at the third level down, the dimension where unseen influences such as energy vampires, people with witch-like personalities, psychic crime and psychological black magic operate.

There are questions to ask and possibilities to eliminate at each level before descending to the one below; there are also some points to be made before starting the exercise.

The definition of the problem
It is important to understand that examples of people doing something wrong are worth investigating only where two elements appear together i.e. when someone acts both unprofessionally and out of character. After all, some people will act unprofessionally because this is their usual mode of operation; not only that, a few of these incompetents might act out of character by doing a good, professional job for once! Neither of these groups is relevant here.

Acceptable margin of error
People are not machines; they sometimes have off days. Occasional errors will be made and should be allowed for, but an investigation into the cause is called for when so much damage has been done that the mistake cannot be overlooked, excused or explained away.

This is where the multi-level approach comes in.

Level 1: the person and the job
On this, the top, level, it is best to work systematically through a list of the most obvious and likely explanations for a damaging, out of character action. The possibilities fall into two groups: one is of factors in the life of the person who made the mistake and the other of common and typical problems with the job.

Conan Doyle's Magic Door and the 'eat or buy books' dilemma

I find much of the material in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's little book of essays Through the Magic Door either very interesting or rather boring. 

When it comes to the material of interest, Conan Doyle's story of his close escape from being accused of plagiarism is fascinating not only in its own right but also because something similar happened to Rudyard Kipling. 

It is much the same where another of Conan Doyle's anecdotes is concerned: his account of having to choose between eating and buying books reminds me of other people who had this or a similar dilemma. 

His unexpected views on public libraries versus the ownership of books also inspire some commentary.

Conan Doyle's 'eat or read' dilemma
In Through the Magic Door, Conan Doyle introduces the books in his library to an imaginary visitor. One set is of particular interest:

“You see the line of old, brown volumes at the bottom? Every one of those represents a lunch. They were bought in my student days, when times were not too affluent. Threepence was my modest allowance for my midday sandwich and glass of beer; but, as luck would have it, my way to the classes led past the most fascinating bookshop in the world. Outside the door of it stood a large tub filled with an ever-changing litter of tattered books, with a card above which announced that any volume therein could be purchased for the identical sum which I carried in my pocket.

As I approached it a combat ever raged betwixt the hunger of a youthful body and that of an inquiring and omnivorous mind. Five times out of six the animal won. But when the mental prevailed, then there was an entrancing five minutes' digging among out-of-date almanacs, volumes of Scotch theology, and tables of logarithms, until one found something which made it all worth while.”

Conan Doyle goes on to describe some of his treasured volumes, the literary gold that he prospected for in the bookseller's old threepenny tub and went without lunch to buy.

Incidentally, Conan Doyle's threepenny sandwich and glass of beer made a better lunch than J. B. Priestley's twopenny bag of stale buns!

Conan Doyle's Magic Door and the amazing Kipling coincidence

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Rudyard Kipling have appeared in many posts on here, both separately and together.

These posts attract large numbers of readers. The article about Conan Doyle, Kipling and the Isle of Wight has, rather surprisingly, recently reached the top ten in terms of the number of viewings.

Another article lists some more common elements in the lives of these two great writers. That article was created some years ago; I have since learned of something else that Conan Doyle and Kipling had in common.

The first article inspired by Conan Doyle's Through the Magic Door, which I discovered only recently, introduces the book and lists a few minor topics and references that appear in both his book and my articles. 

This article features a fascinating story that Conan Doyle has to tell about a reputation-saving 'coincidence'. This incident in his life is of interest not only for its own sake but also because Rudyard Kipling had a very similar experience.

More about the Magic Door
While Through the Magic Door contains some relevant and quotable material, Conan Doyle is verbose – he says himself that he indulges in didactic talk and long digressions - his language is rather old-fashioned and much of his commentary doesn't hold my attention.

I said this about Joyce Collin-Smith's book Call No Man Master:

“...her work has a...duality: it is both very interesting and very boring. Some of the content fascinates me and resonates very strongly while some of it means very little so I skip over it.“

I feel much the same about Through the Magic Door!

While I am not for example particularly interested in the lives and works of many of the 18th and 19th century writers Conan Doyle thinks very highly of, some of the other material definitely gets my attention.

For me, one of the most riveting parts of the book is where Conan Doyle tells of his narrow escape from being accused of plagiarism. This story is all the more interesting because it closely matches a story told by Rudyard Kipling.